What a roller coaster.
Life, I mean.
**DANGER**Self-absorbed introspection posting ahead.
I'm not going to waste any space on this blog talking about work. Work's what happens when I'm not busy living my dreams.
I was cleaning out the garage tonight (afterall I had to make room for my bike and my car :-) since I took the bike off of the wind trainer (because stupidly I thought it was actually warming up. Silly boy.)).
So...as I was doing that I came across a box labeled "Music Archives" (or something like that).
Inside were all of the video tapes from the Buddha Jams, the cassettes from Kid Chill, Napoleon's Sister, LTD, Mocking Karma, FIZZ, 2nd Floor, the Hoot-n-Annies. All there in one box of weird jacked up memories.
I thought I would feel some sort of angsty, "gee i want to do that again" kind of feeling when I started listening to the tapes.
And some of it I do want to do (or continue to do). And I figured out which part. The part where I play with others and we just play for the sake of playing. Making music just to make it. I can't explain it without turning into a weird John Hughes cry for help kind of thing.
I always hated my singing voice. A fact that carried through in a lot of the tapes I listened to. And they were the tapes where I was trying to impress someone else. And believe me...when that happens it sucks. But when it's the 2nd Floor stuff with Darrin...I love it. We have good harmonies, I don't even think about singing. It just happens. Same way with Mocking Karma stuff. And the Buddha Jams.
And then I found a tape of me playing at an open mic night. Just me. My guitar. A mic. And a bar full of people (some friends, some complete strangers). And I sang. And I played. And in that moment I realized that I may not have the greatest singing voice...but I like what I do have (that only took 30+ years). It got the point of the songs across. It was a weird epiphany. And I'm thankful that it was recorded ( I think I probably took my tape recorder so I could prove to myself later that I really don't have anything to prove).
I haven't listened to the video tapes yet*. That will come soon. I know there's a lot of little magic moments on those tapes. The kind of moments you can only have when you have a dozen or so people all drinking, having fun, singing, playing...from all different demographics (we had hippies, thugs, stoners, listless wanderers, programmers, tech support....seriously)...all kinds of people. The Buddha Jams were legendary. They happened every weekend that Jen was with her mom (or least it seemed like that for a while). I opened up the apartment (and my heart. Shut up. It does not sound corny) and the magic just kind of happened independent of any one of us. tape was rolling and it was in the background so after a while people forgot we were recording. And that's when the cool shit happened.
There were many moments of reckless abandon. I think that's when you find out the most about yourself (and others)...in the moments when they're not really thinking about what they're doing. I love that feeling. And the challenge for me now will be to see what that looks like visually and try to capture that on film.
That's about all I got. I kinda just ran out of steam on this post. There's way more shit than this floating around my head right now and I just can't really articulate it. So I'm not going to try right now.
I think I'm gonna head to bed. Before I'm stalked by buddha.
But before I go, I'll leave you with a silly little blast from the past:
It's a Kid Chill jam I like to call Groovetastic
And before you say it...yes I'm perfectly aware how goofy it is. That was mostly the point. :-)
****EDIT**** There seemed to be a glitch when it saved the link to the song last night (this morning). So, it should be working now. Sorry for the inconvenience.
*OK. The VCR thing. If you want to record a lot of shit in one long stretch, set up all your gear (4 track, mixer, whatever), and then from that gear go into the audio inputs on a hi-fi VCR. Set it to EP. And you now have 6 hours of 1/4" tape for your audio. No need to worry about switching tapes every 3o or 60 minutes. It works out very well. Granted, it's pretty much for archival purposes. And now the studio's set up that way again. :-)
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