9.25.2006

It' Ain't Me, yo.

Apparently there was some dude with my exact name, approximate age, and penchant for playing guitar in high school (at least I liked to think I was playing). Oh. And he lived in New Mexico and has several 30 something chicks looking to reconnect with him (for what ends I don't know).

All of this has served to (a)give me the idea for a plot involving mistaken identity centered around an ambiguous MySpace page, (b)cancelling my MySpace account (which really, got less action than I did in high school) and (c)confirming once again that MySpace is infact the binary spawn of Satan.

I created the profile for some reason back when my sister in laws SO mentioned something about it or something like that. And since then have only logged in in order to answer these erroneous emails.

First one was cute. Like "Oh wow. someone's got the same name as me" Second one was borderline. By the time the third one hit, I was pretty much done with the phenom. Oh sure, I can't imagine Farmington NM being THAT big of a place, but damn. Enough'z'Enuff.

Still, though. Would make an interesting plot twist. How much do you really know about that pe
rson who's blog you read? Could their witty repartee be hiding the cold calculations of a serial killer (...huh...wonder why my hit counter went down all of a sudden)?

If all of this sounds like a movie you've seen before, it probably is.

Alright, that's all I got for now.

Wednesday is 1/2 price day at the Thrift Store. Stay tuned for the report!

-Todd

9.22.2006

Prancing Nougat in the Meadow Sings a Song of Thriftisfaction

To the World....

That's right. Your wait is over. Blogger finally got it's photo loading head out of its virtual butt and uploading pix was a breeze tonight.

Of course, some of them are out of sequence (but you're probably used to that by now, huh? Sure you are. Not that it impairs the missions of bringing you quality thrift. No siree.).

Let's jump right in to the mix, shall we?

This first pic looks like some little Village People Beanie Baby, doesn't it? There's just one problem...the thing is over 3ft tall!! That's right...the Haight-Ashbury Special Flaming Purple Teddy comes with handmade bondage wear...that you can wear too!!





OK. I love Lite Brite. Seriously. It was one of the best toys of its day. So, why wouldn't a Junior version kick ass? Seems like it should, eh? There's only one problem. The holes are fake and the pegs are screwed in. This is just another in a long line of baby toys that have funny shapes, light up, and do nothing. Now I know what you're saying..."but Todd, you can't give babies the little Lite-Brite pegs" Agreed. Just don't call it Lite-Brite to sell it to the baby boomers to buy for their grandkinds, mmmkay?


This is ridiculous. It's a PEZ dispenser with the 2 weakest and most non-essential characters in the Star Wars universe.

At first glance, this looks like a reject from Arsenio Hall's wardrobe.

Take a step back, though, and you see that it's really from Garth Brooks' personal collection at Wal-Mart.

One of the best skits (IMHO) on the Carol Burnett show involved this gem of a game.

Close inspection of the contents of the box, however, shows a clear absence of the little bell that Eunice rings as she whisks around the board....Saaah-Reeee!

Now this is old school.
Seriously. Check the date.


The box got updated a bit in the 70's, but the game, rules and pieces stayed the same.


And in the 80's it got even better...by now it was a "classic."


Flavah-Flave!

Hey Mom! I want to dress up in a melted skull costume! This mask was creepy in the movie..not so much in real life.

This was the quintessential game shelf in the 1970's. The only thing missing is Chinese Checkers.


You can't put the Superman, no. 77 with the 200s. They haven't even discovered red kryptonite yet. And you can't put the no. 98 with the 300s. Lori Lemaris hasn't even been introduced. At least that's the first thought that went through my head when I saw the K'Nex mixed in with the Space LEGOS mixed in wtih the Knight LEGOS.


And now on to my personal fave....the clothes! This trip was was quite an eye-opener. I think it should probably be subtitled "Things About Yourself thatYou Probably Shouldn't Advertise on Your Outerwear."

Case in point. An EZ Squirt T-Shirt? Sure. But pajama pants?? Not so much.


If this had fit, I'd have bought it. I thought Zathura was WAY better than Jumanji and looked more like a game that I would have wanted to play.


This shirt is straight out of the Cosby Kids. I'd have bought it, too, if I could have found out the size. Unfortunately, the only size listed was "Umongous." And while it was cool, telling people that particular size didn't do much to bolster the old self-esteem.

This brings back images of football. Or at least what I would consider playing football in if I were a redneck.

Just in case you forget the first Amendment, you can take it with you on this handy dandy shirt!

Beaver Island. I don't think I really need to say anything else, do I?

Something about this cracked me up. I get a kick out of the things they make musicals out of. I'm still waiting for Stanley Kubrick's Full Metal Jacket: The Musical.

Somewhere there's a rule. Call it the Gay Embroidered T-Shirt Rule (or GETS Rule for short). Basically, it goes something like the more tropical the locale, the gayer the embroidered t-shirt has to be. GETS example #1:

I have no idea what this is. I think it's a skateboard company or something.

Look. I know I'm bleeding out of my eyeballs, but could you make sure that I only get blood from AMERICAN donors? Thanks so much.

GETS example #2.



Remeber when I said some things should NOT be advertised on outerwear? This would qualify.
I'm a geek. At first glance, I thought this said "Ask Me About My Bantha."

Um. Yeah. Apparently you can find this off the coast of Beaver Island.

I don't get it. Don't talk to me about the poem. I know the poem. All I'm saying is this- A guy does shit like this and it's a mid-life crisis. Women do shit like this and its empowering. I just don't get it. I blame Sally Jesse Raphael.

I had heard rumors of a new clothing line by Jamie Lee Curtis that were pure speculation, up to now.

This had actual laces. Of course one was missing. I'd have gotten it, but I would have felt stupid trying to find an 8" lace for the other poofy hunting boot on my t-shirt.





BecauseI really didn't want to have to develop code! Thank you NSA!
Ever wonder what some of the other thrift store regulars look like? The ones that flip through every "BK Backstreet Boys for The Fans Only" CD? Wonder no more.

And we check in now with a look at things that will traumatize your children. Starting with this loverly rainbow warrior giraffe picture frame.

mmmmmmBeer.

I love the 80's. Cassingles. Remember those? They were the death of the 45. For a mere $3 (american dollars) you could have ONE song from the album (usually priced $13.99) and maybe one or two songs from other albums.


Apparently pea-soup green is the new white.


Wait...what's this?
That's right! A NKOTB item at the thrift store. I win! And now, everybody wins. Although I really was hoping for "Hanging Tough."


I have one of these. Actually, I have the PT-80 courtesy of the wife's cousin. It's actually better than this PT-82. It has the "auto-chords." mmmmmAutoChords.

An early cable box. If you move the selecter past 36 and jiggle the tuning wheel (off to the right), you could get the nudie channels. So I've heard it told.

One of the first robotic-opposite-sex-detectors. For detecting robots of the opposite sex, of course. Apparently when they went to smaller boxes 'COMPUHETERODYNE' was shortened to 'RADAR.'

I don't konw what "the TRECK" (Toulouse Le-???) is, but something tells me this sign would do little to make me feel welcome.

This thing was like 2 feet tall. I was surprised it didn't have the pre-requisite .22 hole in it somewhere.

This lookes like...er...um...something that was living and is now not.In formaldahyde. With masking tape on the lid. Clearly a Science Fair project being re-used for Art class.

It's no secret that clowns freak me the f*** out. Clowns that can separate their heads from their bodies even moreso.

If Satan had a billie-goat, it's eyes would look like this.

Heh. Beat it. Get it? Beaters. For mixers. Yeah. That really was the thought that went through my head when I snapped this pic. Darrin mentioned that no matter which one you bought, it wouldn't fit your mixer anyway.


It's no secret that I am schooled in the Geekly arts. I got really excited when I first glanced at this. I thought I had finally stumbled upon the William T. Riker Bobble-head. No such luck.

Tee hee. Pot wrap. In case your pot gets cold or feels underdressed.

Plush clowns with recessed eyes. Yeah...GREAT for the kids!

It appeared I had stumbled upon a porcelain creepy clown convention.

Not a clown, but terra-cotta hippy commune wenches take a close second to creepy clowns.

It's pink. The Browns are pink. Yeah, I got nothin'.

You should never under ANY circumstances buy food at a thrift store. I have to say, though, that I was a little more than slightly tempted to grab the hamburger helper. C'mon...Garlic...Potatoes....Beef! How can you go wrong?

I have no idea what this is. Some pygmy brain suckerator or something? I'm not entirely sure if this is a corker or uncorker, but either way, it does NOT belong in the house. Although it might make a good movie prop. If I ever write a move that calls for a pygmy brain suckerator.

I can't imagine what this looked like before the charcoal flat matte spray paint was applied.

We three kings......are soooooooo wasted, man.

Tee hee.

I SOOO wanted the peter pan ball to be a bowling ball. But alas it was not meant to be. A bowling ball that looks like a playground ball would kick ass, too!!

For the record, the 3ft. stuffed plush Santa did not originally come with the PVC-DIY-Deer Hunter Bow. I just thought they looked good together.

I loved these things. Here's how it worked--you put wax paper on a cookie sheet...then this metal frame...then these little plastic crystals. Throw it all in the oven and watch it all melt together into your very own sun-catcher!!

The new guard of Star Wars sheets. All I can say is...suck.

I had these. They aren't lincoln logs or tinker toys. Kinda like the pre-cursor to LEGOS. And yes, I had some.

Upon close inspection I found that the game was on 3.5" floppy. Disk, that is. I had it on 5 1/4" floppy. Disk.

Tee hee. I had one of these. I think it's still over at my parents' house.

Merrily Merrily Merrily....


This hat is bringing ugly back.


MMMMM. Monkees cereal. Oh it's a puzzle? Oh it'sa re-issue? Oh it's $5.99??? What a jip!

Now, I'm no expert on kanives or Arabs. Or Arabs with kanives. BUT...I have to say, that I'm not quite sure how an Amish horse and buggy made it's way to the scabbard of what is clearly a mid-eastern influenced kanife.


WHO? WHO? Who would buy such an ugly piece of 70's reject wood-paneled den with cannons on the lamp base ceramic bejeweled Owl light with glowing red eyes? We had our answer 2 minutes later as two hippy college freshmen chicks proceeded to the counter with their prize.

And that'ss all for the thrift store. From there we went on to Kroger. I had to smile when I thought how happy my sis-in-law was to see this sign:

This thing was creepy (not as creepy as when I've dressed up for halloween before, but close).

I leave you now with "Meatless Wham"...the careless whisper...eh. I got nothin'. I would like to ask, though....it's "Meatless" Wham. Would that not imply that somewhere in the store I should be able to find Wham made with real meat?

And with that I send you all in to the weekend.

Later for now!

-Todd

The 10th Annual Typewriter Meetup

I'm tired. I'm not going to lie. My body is doing that thing where, after a short period (48-72hours) of intense emotions and pe...