6.18.2009

That Was Weird

I just had a dream about DevilCake. And I was in it (as in, in the band again).

It was some festival and we were on the bill as 'DEVIL KATT' ...and the songs listed were songs I didn't know. Further down on the bill was 'SAMARKIND' so I assumed Ian was on the bill twice (don't know if I was part of that band in the dream or not).

Gourley and Ian were the only two other members I interacted with in the dream. I was heading to the trailers to change (this place was massive) and donned a set of dirty orange mechanics coveralls. I said something to Ian about not knowing any of the songs and he just kind of looked at me in that 'oh silly boy...you know this stuff' kind of look he sometimes has.

Gourley was clearly pumped for the show (some things never change, it seems).

And then off to the side I heard "Have fun today, honey." It was Nancy.

And then I woke up. To Nancy telling me to have fun today (honey) at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Museum (Jen and I are heading up today as a combo birthday present to her, fathers' day present to me).

There was more to it...the Manga style of the flyers....listening to the crowd...hearing the synths in the sound check (apparently Devilcake got their keys back). And feeling that nervous/exicted feeling I would get before shows.

So, what does it all mean?

Eff if I know.

Clearly I have unresolved issues related to Devilcake. I'm not going to deny that. I hated the way it ended (for me) and I hated the rift that it (and other events at that time) caused between me and Ian. And I think Ian and I are to a better place with it now, but I have to say that there are aspects of that time that still make me go 'WTF, mate?' The pain is gone, and I'm not bitter about it (at least I don't think I am). But clearly there's a part of me that misses being on stage and playing gigs. The funny thing is...that realization is hitting me NOW...when I can't foresee any time in the schedule to even BE in a band, let alone play out.

Smell that? That's irony.

2 comments:

Ian C Stewart said...

wow, that WAS a weird dream!

i think everyone (with the possible exception of gourley) who ever played with devilcake still has some conflicted feelings about the whole thing. maybe that's just how it is with all bands, i'm not sure. we're lucky that no one ever died as a direct result of the band (gabe's demise was already in progress before & after devilcake) & no one became a junkie as far as i know. hah.

devilcake's only function was for us to have fun. so when it stops being fun, like it always does, then it can make for some tense &/or awkward moments.

in general i try not to over-analyze devilcake because it's a losing proposition! i'd go insane. it is what it is, was what it was, it was fun while it lasted & hopefully was a force more for good than bad! although anyone who has listened to the entire box set would probably argue that last point. :)

Todd S. said...

I know, right?!

I completely agree with you on the 'fun' bit. AND the overanalyzing it...which, is really one of my weaknesses...I overthink things WAY the eff too much sometimes. In general I can look back on my two tours with Devilcake and have good memories about it. There were some bitchin' good times...things I'd probably never do again, but glad I did then (riding in the back of a U-Haul with shoddy ventiliation on the way to Dayton comes to mind), but it was fun and a the 'fun' parts are the reason that I would even entertain the idea of being in a band that played out...because that isht is fun. :-)....it's way too late (in the day, and I'm tired...lol)...but yeah. Good lookin' out. :-)

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