12.21.2011

Facebook Junkie?

I think I'm somewhat of a Facebook Junkie. I suspect as my eating habits and exercising habits change, I'll wind up changing and/or conquering my sedentary addictions (at least that's the intent), but in the cold grip of a Central Ohio Winter, there seems to be nothing wrong with hanging out in front of the PC...playing Words with Friends, scrolling up and down the Facebook wall and pretending to 'catch up' on my 'friends' lives.

There are of course quotes around the words that are stark rationalizations.

I'm not catching up. I'm being a welcome voyeur. People post what they want people to see. And if by chance something gets posted to the public wall that was only meant for private eyes, these same people pray that they removed the post before too many of their invited voyeurs saw it.

And I do the same thing. Unlike the hyper-instant nature of Twitter...Facebook is feigned spontaneity. A good portion of my posts that seem like 'quirky' and 'off the cuff' are rehearsed in my mind before ever hitting 'The Wall.' Sorry. I'm not this funny in real life. Honestly. And when I do meet 'friends' on facebook. The first time in real life is often awkward. There's no space behind the screen to hide behind.

So...while I would like to think of many of my 'friends I met on Facebook' as also 'friends in real life,' the truth is, that's not a given. It's possible in real life you're an asshole and I'm a dick. But we both post some funny shit...comment here and there and oft times hit the 'LIKE' button (which really, for me, has turned in to the 'HEY, I READ THIS. GOOD TO SEE YOU'RE STILL ALIVE' button).

So, on a whim (no not really), I decided that while on vacation from work (which, lets be honest, is where many of us actually play on Facebook), I would take a break from FB. Keep my PC turned off unless I needed it (I don't--all my photo editing projects are done now) and I'd stay off Facebook for a week...just to see how things went.

And I got through nearly 24 hours away from FB. And as soon as I posted, I got called out by a couple of (in real life, too) friends. Which...was to be expected.

Because I wasn't really taking a hiatus. What I was doing was saying 'hey...I'm gonna take a break from posting every 40 minutes and just lurk...read what you guys all write without having to post, or think, or comment, or do anything but consume.

And FB really doesn't work like that. I mean...for some people it does. Some people can observe. I'm not one of them. Mostly because I can't keep my big mouth (fingers) shut...I have to respond. I have to see how many people LIKE what I say (which when YOU click the LIKE button, in my mind you've clicked the 'Todd, you're a fucking genius' button).

It's the way I'm wired.

And I saw a post from another friend who reached the conclusion that I had reached about a year ago--I'm really done with Facebook as an 'entity'...I mean, I want to try to cultivate the relations with friends in a REAL way...so I said about a year ago that I was fecking off for parts unknown. And many people popped up and were like...'dude...don't go..' I saw the same reaction on John's wall. And that's when I realized that sometimes the sum of the parts are bigger than the whole. John posts bible verses and inspirational stuff. He has no idea how many people that actually touches....when he posts, it's for him. So...he might be done with FB, but it's not a given that FB is done with him. I know how that feels.

Sure...I write some funny shit on FB...but you won't get to know me by any of that. You wanna get to really know me? Go back and read my blogs. Look at the things I take photos of. THATS how you'll get to know me. Or better yet, meet me at Brew'Stirs on a Friday or Saturday.

If you want a quick chuckle...a video that occasionally makes you laugh, or think, then by all means stick with the status updates. That's what they'll be used for mostly.

And really...that's all it can be. You see, I figured it out.

Facebook IS just like high school again. It's that quick hit of someone as you pass them in the hall. Occasionally you see the cut-out photos from Teen Beat taped in their lockers, but what you know of them is just what you see for the 3 minutes between classes. Purely circumstantial.

And that's probably what's bugging me. You may not know this, but there was a lot about High School that I fucking hated. HATED. But that's a story for another time.

Point is...the me that's on FB...that isn't the real me. That's the 'I'm here to make you laugh because I believe laughter can change the world' me.

I haven't figured out how to reconcile that split yet.

But I'm tryin' real hard, Ringo.

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