12.20.2011

Reflections

In a completely surreal moment in my life, I just shot and edited my daughter's Sr. Pictures. It seems only yesterday I carried her from the delivery room to the NICU.

She was born premature. And the first 48 hours were the hardest of my life. I suspect the 48 hours before she leaves the house to live her amazing life will be the second hardest. I don't wish for that day to come. I just want to reflect.

My daughter is creative...a free spirit...a free thinker...and sometimes she gets wrapped so deep on a thought that it takes awhile to come back up for air. I know this because she is, in a lot of ways, like me.

I don't know what the future holds for her. I know that she has a lot better chance of not f**king things up than I did. (I really kinda screwed the pooch from about 19-21).

Then...at 21, I decided I didn't want to be in my parents house any more (rookie mistake)...and had to live my own life. I met a woman...fell in love. Had an amazing baby girl.

And life, as I knew it, was never the same.

It sounds cliche. And I don't care. It is the God's Honest Truth. The first seconds I held her in my arms, I knew that there was something in this universe greater than me....greater than you...greater than all of us. And that was love. Holding this little tiny child in my arms, I knew a love so deep it hurt.

And I feel that love every day. Sometimes I watch her...and I know she doesn't really have a sense of how amazing she really is. She'll tell me about her day and I just have to smile. I can't help it. I look at her and think 'You came from me...but you are meant to be so much more than I will ever be.'



I hope that she reads this. Bookmarks it. Realizes that She truly is only limited by herself. Keep looking toward the stars. The universe will keep no secrets from you as long as you continue to ask.

I love you punkin'doodle.

-Dad.

2 comments:

Sean said...

Touching words Todd. I've always said that parenthood makes you walk the razor's edge of emotion...tears of pain and sorrow in one breath and tears of sweet joy and pride in another.

Seems like a good place to be.

Todd S. said...

Thanks Sean. That's about the sum of it :-)

Showing Some Love

If you are participating in National Novel Writing Month, you should know one thing. You are awesome. Keep that shit up. OK, you should k...