5.02.2012

I LOVEHATE Facebook

Not too long since I wrote my last post. I think I also wrote it from my iPad. Which, I still think is pretty fucking cool. But I'm not here to gush about the iPad.

Well, I mean I probably will, but not just yet. No, today's minor random meandering is on the love/hate relationship I have with Facebook.

I find that since I joined (originally in 2008, and only then because our company's Fantasy Football league was going to use it), I have probably lost DAYS or even WEEKS in that time-suck.

And it's really my own fault. Part of it is that it feeds my own narcissism. I mean, I know I am funny, and witty, and clever, and have a seriously warped philosophical mind...but I seem to feed, at times, off of others telling me the same thing.

 And that's bad.

 I have long held the opinion as someone famous once said (Oscar Wilde, maybe) "What others think of me is none of my business"

And to a point, that's true. Enter Facebook. The instant gratification is addicting and I'm hooked.


Then there's the 'you're so inspiring with your weight loss' aspect. I know a lot of people are watching me...either hoping I succeed or hoping I don't. And part of me doesn't want to let them down, but fuck man...I'm not losing the weight for you in the first place. I mean, yay...it's fucking rad that you're cheering me on...and that you're inspired to make changes in your own life. That's fucking cool. but as selfish as this sounds...I'm not doing this because of that. I'm happy that that's a side effect of all this and that's cool. But I'm doing it because I'm sick of being a fat ass. You need to find your own reason for making the changes if you're to that point.

 I just want to walk away from it sometimes. Shut down the account and see who gives a fuck. I don't want to do a litmus test of my friends or anything, but I know who my friends are. If I'm not on Facebook, they'll find a way to stay in touch. That's what friends do.

 Am I'm going to close my account? I should. I'm a fucking junkie with that shit. But realistically I won't. But I think I'm going to wean myself off of posting.

Go a couple of mornings without the morning posts....then a week...then a month... Then I'll be able to go back in to lurker status.

And Facebook won't be so fucking important in my life. It will be a place to occasionally catch up with friends and see what's up. Like it started.

 Big talk, I know. We'll see if I have the stones to do it. You know us attention whores...even our cries of 'stop paying attention to me' are still ways to get attention. LOL. Fucking catch 22.

The good news is, I have cut WAY down on the FB use at work. I'm in more of a Team Lead mode...and there's just no time for that bullshit. So I've already cut it down to about 20-30min in the morning. Now if I can get my night usage down to that level, then I'll be happy.

And honestly, I think the iPad will help. I think what it will do is give me a reason to not always be in front of my PC. And if I'm not in front of my PC, then the temptation to always open a new tab and see what's going on in FB will diminish. Again a good thing.

So, yeah, we'll see how it all plays out. Did I mention that I'm fucking loving this iPad? no? oh...I am.

 Peace out, have a good evening!

 -A.T.

Stuck

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