6.19.2012

#f**kingMondayonTuesday

It's kind of crazy these days. I come home convinced I've had a bad day...or in the moment of the day, it seems like it's shaping up to be a bad day. And then something happens. I can't explain what it is, because frankly, I don't know what to call it.

But as I'm sitting there trying to think of how shitty the day was, I get this calm. It's surreal, and it's really an almost imperceptible shift...but it's there. It's a shift to realizing that the day wasn't really bad at all. That the events of the day weren't really in and of themselves BAD...and my reaction to them, while not perfect, also was not bad. And it comes from the fact that the reason I'm actually frustrated (and that's too harsh of a word, whatever is one or two levels below frustrated--that's what I am)....but the reason I'm that is because I haven't done all I could to help people.

I was hired in to give our team a customer-centric focus. Something that I think I can do quite well after working for a company that provided software to help big companies provide excellent customer service to their customers. If there's one thing I know, it's customer service.

And that's what bugs me. I know what the right thing is...and I want to be able to do that--NOW. But there's a building process.

So...instead of getting frustrated that there's no house to walk in to, nothing but a pile of bricks, the shift happens. That almost imperceptible shift in to seeing the bricks as the chance to build the house that we want...instead of moving in to someone elses house.

THAT my friends, is as exciting as shit! And that's the reason that after 2 months at this job, I can honestly say that "Yes, I still love my job." To be instrumental in building a department that's going to wipe away all the years of bad taste that previous incarnations of our department have left in the mouths of the users in our company is an AMAZING gift.

Gift. Gifts are cool things.

But before I get in to that--Mom update.

I stopped on the way home today and visited Mom. That was not an easy thing to see...a child shouldn't see their parents in the hospital. It just fucks with the whole 'super hero' vibe that parents are supposed to have.

Wasn't an easy day of healing for Mom today. We chatted. Talked about what it's like to confront your own mortality (she'd had her moment this weekend, I had mine 15 years ago). If you have never been put in the situation of being told that if you don't do X, Y, and Z, you will die, then I truly envy you. It's a shitty thing to have to hear, regardless of what age you are.

She needs her rest, so I doubt I'll pop by until Thursday or Friday.

And the gifts of today just keep giving.

I stopped over at Katie and Davids to pick up some Sleepworks for my boss, and they had a surprise for me that totally caught me off guard. 2 coats and a jacket. And these were NICE coats. 2 leather jackets and 1 lined hoodie. Very cool. Two of the three fit now. One will fit by the time the weather cools down to the point where I will actually need to wear it. These are no doubt the nicest coats I've ever had and I'm pretty damn stoked.

Which brings us to now. Sipping on a Leinie Honey Weiss, writing this blog, and realizing that regardless of the shit that comes my way today, I am amazingly blessed beyond belief. Fantastic family and friends, and a job I love. Seriously, what could make this any better? Other than a bluetooth keyboard so I can hack away at this blog. Oh, wait. I have one of those.

A kick ass day indeed. Gonna finish my beer and call it a night.

Peace Outside.

-A.T.

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