6.13.2012

Weird Morning-Day 1

It's weird. I'm not even going to lie.

I woke up and headed down for the crapatorium, going through my morning ritual--which for the last well, probably years now, has included checking what's been happening on the 'Book.

And I looked at my phone and it wasn't there. No messages about how so and so had poked me. No little red circle with the white number telling me how many people thought I was clever. No blue square with the white 'f'. And it was fucking brilliant.

I figure it will take a day or two for people to realize that I've actually closed out my account. And another day or two for them to stop giving a crap.

I figure that the nature of the Face' is so transient anyway that things like this are only a little blip. People don't really remember who they used to read. If they do, even that fades.I'm not saying it's good or bad, it just seems to be how it is. At least that's how it plays out in my mind.

I do have a Wordpress blog started to track my weight loss journey. I've got some catching up to do to get it current, and that's cool. The hours that I would spend on the FB will be better spent writing, and actually telling my story in some kind of linear fashion (well, as linear as I've ever told a story, that is).

And maybe it will still inspire people. Maybe people paid attention--jotted down my email and my blog address. I'm not worried about it, honestly. I needed to do this. For me. I was spending too much time passively absorbing content that wasn't doing anything but giving me a temporary fix. A temporary escape.

Sounds a bit like drugs, doesn't it? Well, it is. Facebook is my drug of choice. For brief seconds on it, I can feel like a fucking king-like the whole world loves me. And then when people don't respond to the posts I want them to, or completely misread them, then I feel shittier than shit. Very much like a pattern of drug addiction.

I'm not stupid. I saw the signs long ago. I'm sure I posted about it. And people told me I was over-reacting. I wasn't. I know my nature. I know myself. And I knew what was happening.

Fortunately for me, iOS lets me uninstall facebook completely from my iPhone and iPad. UNFORTUNATELY for me, iOS6 that's on it's way seems to be tightly integrated to Facebook. Hopefully Apple is smart enough to give punters like me a chance to opt out of that integration completely. If not, maybe I'll give up the cell phone completely. Go back to a land line and an answering machine. Wouldn't that be a riot? I've thought about it. Seriously...who needs access ALL the time?? No one.

Don't worry...I'm not getting all Ted Kaczynski on you or anything. But when we get to a point where technology is so tightly intermeshed that we blindly accept it, there's a problem. The number of ads that we're exposed to in 30 minutes of Facebook time is exponentially greater than those on the same amount of TV. Don't believe me? Count them. Count the number of ad widgets on each page you view on Facebook for half an hour. Count the number of ads in a game you play on there. Count the number of posts on your wall from major corporations.

If you think Facebook is anything but one big ad delivery tool, you're fooling yourself. Google+ also has a high ad content. I would say of the big major players, Twitter is really the only one that's about content...people push what they want, follow who they want and the ads are a lot less. I'm sure they're there, I just don't notice them as much.

And so we are on Day 1 (well, day 2 if you count yesterday when I actually deleted the account) of the 14 day waiting period.

You have have to wait 7 days to get a gun...but you have to wait 14 days before your Facebook account is completely deleted. And all you have to do to cancel the 'permanent' deletion (which you have to confirm 3 times that you want to in the first place) is log back in any time in that 14 days.

I am guessing a lot of people get sucked back in that way. Delete the account from their PC then 'accidentally' log back in with their phone or some app that's Facebook enabled and bammo they're right back on the crack. Hopefully I took care of that. I uninstalled the one game I knew for sure automatically logged in to facebook and logged the others ones off before I deleted.

I just can't go back to that. To that online high school look at me I'm so fucking great thing again. I got sucked in. I started to think I made a difference, that what I said over there mattered.

And even if it did, it was so transient that if you found something inspiring on FB one day and wanted to see it again 3 days later, you'd never find that post.

Alright, enough of that. The sweat from the 30minute bike ride has pretty much evaporated and I'm off to get ready to face the day. Poke-free for the first time in years.

It sounds a bit silly, I know, but you have no idea how cool it is to me.

-A.T.

7 comments:

Darrin said...

OMG Todd! I'm so glad you're OK! I hadn't seen any 'hello monday' post so I thought maybe a giant vulture had picked up the new light you and carried you away to be eaten by her little, but still quite huge vulture babies!!! OMG LOLLERZ AFAIK WOOT!!!

It's a big step for you Toddeus. You know I'm someone who called you out on your FB addition. I personally think it'll be a good step for you. It'll give you a chance to... focus. Or something.

Anyhoo..... I couldn't resist doing to completely oblivious friend who was unaware that you purposely leaving facebook.

I've gone on too long already.

See ya!

Todd S. said...

Heh heh. Yeah. It was long over due. When I started feeling like my 'friends' (facebook friends, that is) didn't really like me then I knew I was way too invested in it and had to walk away.

It's all good. I've posted more on the blog in the past month than I did most of the year, LOL.

At least you won't have to worry about me posting my status when we're hanging out anymore. LOL.

Ian C Stewart said...

Wow!
:)

I still never got a cellphone. Still have the landline.

Todd S. said...

some days I question being so connected... Taking a trip down to the farm solo in July to get my head screwed back on right and recharge. It'll be all good.

Ian C Stewart said...

& should I just post this type of crap here, instead of FB now.? :)

http://vimeo.com/42492391

Ian C Stewart said...

& don't take anything, good or bad, personally from Facebook. It is what it is. You get out of it what you put into it. I NEVER notice when people stop posting there because I have 300 other friends & family people posting too. One voice, I don't even notice until waaaaaaaaay after the fact. Like, someone unfriends me without telling me directly, I never know. I don't take it personally. I call it the Corey Hance Effect. One day we're FB buds, next day it's a year later & wtf did Corey go? Oh well.

the Captcha thing on here gets harder every time! :)

Todd S. said...

Haha..yup...email or post them--either way. I think the other pleasant side effect of kicking the F***book habit is that I should be able to do more reading of other blogs (which lately, as in the last 2 years), I've been remiss in doing).

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