1.31.2013

That Quiet Voice Inside My Head That Says "F**k Yeah, I Got This!!"

I threw this out on FB after I got home from my workouts. OK...after dinner and a shower after I got home from my workouts:

"The pain is real. The aches are real. The exhaustion is most certainly real. The gallon+ of sweat I'm sure I left on the mats tonight is real.
And I wouldn't have it any other way. Every time there's a challenge... a bit of adversity...a move or form I don't know or don't think I can master I hear the Universe speaking to me.
It's asking me "How badly do you want this?"
My reply is almost always non-verbal. A single nod of determination and I let it fly. The kick...the punch...the break fall...the jump....whatever it is. It is my answer to the Universe. "I want this more than you could ever know."
These bruises...aches....pains are the reminders that I'm on the right path.
No one said this would be easy.
But it will absolutely be worth every drop of blood, sweat and tear."



It was what was going through my head at the time. It actually started in the shower. All my great ideas start in the shower or on the shitter. Or driving.

OK...SOME of my great ideas start in the shower.

And this one was kind of like that. Only I didn't quite post it accurately on FB.

You see where I said that "...I don't think I can master" part in there? That's not entirely accurate (Mr. President).

Thing is...I don't believe that there's anything I can't master if (a) I put my mind to it, and (b) it's part of my life's mission on this planet (this lifetime).

Don't get me wrong. That's not arrogance.

Let me backup.

After kickboxing (which was the hour after an hour of Hap Ki Do), Han Sa Bom Nim and I were putting away the heavy bags and there were 2 left that were standing like pillars about 4 feet apart. He ran, jumped and kicked them both. It was badass.

So I looked at him and said...'I'll do it next week' (because we started moving bags)...and then I stopped and said 'No. Not next week, but someday.' And I know I will. What was cool was that Han Sa Bom Nim looked at me and said 'Yes. Someday.'

It was at that moment that I realized something. Not only did I believe that I was capable of completing this course lain out in front of me, but my teachers believed it too. I think they can tell when there are some people passing through the school, and which ones have the drive to stay.

I'm a stayer.

I'm staying until I advance through, not only the rank, but until I unlock the key. In every martial arts, there is a key. There is the physical aspect and the training, but there is always a key. It's this 'key' that makes it the art.

And Hap Ki Do, which i picked first, is the "Way Of The Harmonized Flow."

I don't know how anything could be more fitting for me at this point in this life I'm living.

So...back to thinking there's nothing I can't master, given the criteria mentioned earlier.

It's absolutely not arrogance. Arrogance seems to be associated with immediacy.
I'm the best and I can show you RIGHT NOW!!

For me , it's more of 'hey...I know I can do this. It may take me a while, and I may get banged up along the way, but I got this shit! I'm gonna be the master'  I'm not out to prove anything. I'm just stating that if I set my mind to it, it's going to happen (As long as it fits my life's mission).

And maybe THAT's the key to the harmony. Things will come and go (the flow)...but to be in harmony with that flow is the key.

Yeah. That about sums it up. (see too long for a status message :-)

Have a kick ass evening my friends (what's left of it).

I will catch you either in Dreamland (a story for another time), or on the other side of slumber, which I'm gonna be doing here soon.

Peace out!
-AT

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