4.26.2014

Seriously Fa(s)t Food...WTF?

So...I apologize in advance. The f-bomb may make an appearance.
It happens. Typically when I'm around either people who don't care or feeling particularly self-loathing.
I'm in apartment alone tonight. I'll leave you to deduce which trigger it was in this instance.

I didn't feel like cooking tonight.  I had a long week at work. I had a long night last night. And I was in Dayton this morning for a business building seminar.

In short I was knackered.

So...I reached for the $20 in my wallet. And it wasn't there (memories of how many fireball shots I bought last night suddenly blanked in to place). Sooooooo....the two normal delivery places I would order from were out since I don't like reading my credit card # over the phone to the one...and I quite frankly was feeling too lazy to walk down to DoughBoys to pick up a pizza in person.

That left delivery.

Which means Jets, Dominos, or Pizza Hut.

I don't like Jets.

I used to work at Pizza Hut and really can't eat there any more.

That left Dominos. Now...don't get me wrong, I know they make their pizzas the same way as Pizza Hut. Logically I know this. But I never worked there. So I don't actually have proof of this.

So...I ordered one of their specials.  Pizza and a sandwhich. Or something like that.

And....dude. Their pizza just doesn't agree with me any more.

I'm finding that I'm saying that a lot lately. "I tried such and such for the first time in x number of months/ years, and WHOANELLYHOLYCRAPTHATDIDNTENDWELL!!"

And I figured it out.

It's fucking fast food, man.

FAST FOOD
Although, when you choose to think of the 's' as silent (thank you letter people), it really becomes
FA(s)T FOOD.

And there it is. In a nut shell.

I read this somewhere years and years ago and since then, I've held that in business (and even in some cases, life in general) there are 3 attributes you can have of any product or service.

  • Good
  • Fast
  • Cheap
But here's the rub--you can only pick TWO. 
  • If you pick Good and Fast, it won't be Cheap.
  • If you pick Good and Cheap, it won't be Fast.
  • If you pick Fast and Cheap, it won't be good.
And that's really where fa(s)t food comes in, isn't it? In most cases, it's fast and cheap.
And it's not good.

Oh sure...there are just enough flavorings and fatty thangs in there to make us 'think' it tastes good or at the very least enough to trigger a symbolic link to a memory of a food that we do remember as tasting good at one point in our life. So, in order to get around the idea that we just spent money on shitty food that our body knows is bad for us, we overlay the memory of the good tasting food on to this current situation and 'voila!' we wind up with something that more often than not we qualify as 'not that bad.'

I ordered Dominos last night.
Oh really? How was it?
It wasn't that bad.

Really? Not that bad. Meaning there was a degree of something bad in there. Meaning that instead of making something using fresher ingredients, we (we meaning me) settled for second rate food that someone else delivered.

So...now I feel bloated. Mad at myself for taking the lazy choice. And not so much that, but making the lazy food with shitty food. It'll take 2 days to get the processed crap from my body. 

Speaking of Crap. I think I'm gonna start the process soon...

And I've added Dominos to the no-fly list for my belly. I don't hate it. But it's not something that I choose to partake of right now.

Cheat days don't work for me. It implies denial. And that isn't what I 'm looking for. I'm making life changes. I'm working on eating better and getting back in to shape.  But part of that getting back in to shape is the understanding that I'm gonna drink beer. Occasionally I'm going to have wings. These aren't things on a 'cheat day.' They are things that are in my life. So they need to be incorporated or counted on for the duration. Because I'm not necessarily ready to give them up yet, nor am I going to trick myself in to think it's ok because they are on a cheat day. If that works for you--cool. I know lots of people that make that concept work. My brainbucket just isn't wired that way.

And with that I'm off. I think it's time to finally dust off the treadmill. Gotta sweat out the ill effects of this fa(s)t food.

Pizza Out....er  Peace Out!
-A.T.


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