I was shoring up plans for the Cleveland National Air Show today and my friend asked me "so...what's it gonna be this year-a 10ft lens?"
I told him not quite likely. I may bring a DSLR, but I probably won't. I'm quite likely only going to take the Fuji Instax. I explained that every time I've gone to this I have brought the big camera. Aside from the fact that I'm walking around with a bag worth several thousand dollars is the bigger impact--when I'm so focused on getting that perfect shot, I'm missing out on the event. I had fun the last few times I went, but I missed out on the moment. The joking around...the having fun...the deciding to feck off and go have a look around instead of having to be planted in my seat in time to get the really great shots.
And yes, I got some amazing photos. But we'll see how this year goes.
I'm giving myself permission to live in the moment. To say fuck it to expectations, and to mostly be Todd this year and not The Photographer.
I'm not a photographer. I enjoy taking pictures, but I think if I had to make a living out of it I would truly go mad. Don't worry...I still love taking pix for me. My one on one time taking moon shots, or landscapes. Those are truly the moments that make me love photography.
If I could only choose between writing and photography, there would be no contest. Writing would win. Writing always will win for me. With photography I take one shot and people write their own stories-very few, if any, will actually see the story in my head or the real reason I shot the image.
When I write...I can paint a picture that will look different to everyone, yet everyone will know the story. And even the same person may see something different years later if they come back and re-read something I've written. It's in my blood. It's who I am. When I don't write something...anything...even these little fuckofframblings that I call a blog...I start to get edgy...snarky...I need the outlet.
It will be weeks....months sometimes...between times I actually fire up the DSLR (the Instax is different, it's actually helping me live in the moment).
If you ask me the same question between music and writing...the decision will be tougher, but again....writing will win. I can write lyrics...poems...songs--even if I never play them. The words are always first for me.
I can't remember when that started, but I hope it's something I never forget.
Alright...now back to dial in to work to edit some crontabs, which my boss told me is just like writing. Not so sure I agree with him, but hey...writing is writing.
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