It is one week and one day out from the day my whole world changed.
At least that's what it seemed like a week ago.
A week ago - ok as recently as a day or two ago - my eyes would get a little misty when you mentioned my book. It's part of a box set on Amazon called Midnight Magic. Filled with 16 tales of urban fantasy, you should check it out if you haven't already. Go here to get it.
So, eight days later, what's the dealio?
Well...to be honest, the imposter syndrome is starting to creep in just a bit.
Sure...it's only a novella. And it's self-published.
So...the doubt asks me, "Does that really count?"
And for a split second I wonder.
Did the dream really come true?
Am I actually an AUTHOR??
I look doubt squarely in the eyes. And as soon as doubt blinks I calmly say, "Fuck You."
I AM an author. I AM published. I AM living proof that dreams do come true.
To be fair, though, there's a portion of the doubt that probably won't go away for a long time. I mean, it would be nice to click on the box set and see that someone had reviewed my novella. I know that a lot of my friends purchased the set. And some have read my story and given me direct feedback. That makes it feel more real.
I still can't help wondering though, if I belong to the company of authors I find myself in. There's a part of me that thinks that at any moment, someone in the group is going to look at me and suddenly realize that I don't belong. And worse, they'd tell me so.
It's crazy how fast the blanket of what we commonly accept as the real world comes back in to swiftly smother the flames of the dream. I find that just one week after, I have to be intentional about thoughts relating to the dream. What's the next book? The next story? The next project?
What am I going to do to continually fulfill the dream of being an author? I know I can do it. Having done it has proven that. But I have a feeling that it's one of those dreams that I have to keep living. I have to constantly fulfill that dream. Right now, the whole author dream is like a little creek running through my reality. I can see it there. I know it's there. I know what it took to make that creek. And I can stop and appreciate the running water.
With each thing I put out there, I'm looking at the water rise just a little bit.
One day, I envision a raging river, teeming at the banks. The impending flood of the dream fully taking over and washing over everything I know.
THAT will be a glorious day.
As the waters carry me along, I can only imagine that there will be little room for doubt at that point.
And I can't frickin' wait!
Until then, stay tuned there are some fun new projects headed your way from SkaggleRock.
Todd Skaggs, author.
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