11.28.2018

Saying Goodbye..and Hello

For some time now I have struggled with an addiction. Well, several in all likelihood. But the one I refer to spefically in this post is the  addiction to Facebook, and to some extent all social media. Facebook is by far the worst, at least for me.

Today I said goodbye, well sort of. I actually just deleted my account without so much as a ‘I’m running away from Facebook for a while to clear my head and take back my life’ post. Even though that’s exactly what I’m doing. I took the app and it’s dumb lumpy cousin, Messenger, off of my phone a couple of weeks ago. I still found myself opening up both in the browser on my phone. So, I didn’t actully cut the cord, I just changed my access. Instead of getting my fix at home in the safety of my bedroom, I had to go see that skeevy guy behind the bowling alley that always smells of stale kimchee and fresh cat piss.

After downloading my entire FB life up to now, I deactivated the account with fanfare. I had a couple of moments of weakness where I almost got back online to see if anyone had said anything or had missed me. I’m still waiting for the inevitable Why did you unfriend me? text or email that will invariably come. Or, maybe it won’t. Maybe my worst fears will be realized and my absence in the online realms won’t cause this big gaping hole. Women and children won’t be screaming because there is no more iTod on their newsfeed. In fact, I suspect that it will take most people quite some time to notice, and even longer to care.

And you know what? That’s OK by me. Thing is, I am striving toward a life of more meaningful interactions in the meat-space. With people I care about.

I just recently watched a documentary on minimalism that my roommate recommended. She says that she repeatedly watches it when she feels like she’s getting too caught up in getting stuff. And I have to say that it had an affirming affect on my decision to abandon the book of face. The last line in the whole thing-the whole thing is amazing and you should watch it- but the last line was the key for me. And it was simply this.

Love people. Use things.

That was the kick in the third eye that I needed to hear. And it’s true. It goes along with what I recently heard Cal Newport say in a podcast. The technology in our lives should be used to facilitate real-life interactions with people. And that we should stop counting online interactions as real. Both of these things hit home and gave a little turbo boost to my decision to ditch the big blue F for good (for now).

Will I go back? God I hope not. I mean, I can say that right now, without a compelling reason, a seriously compelling reason, I can see not going back, period. The last time I quit (and did a full-on account delete), the thing that brought me back was the death of a friend. All of the gatherings around his death were being coordinated via the book of face. And so I found myself sucked back in. And from there it was easy to convince myself that I needed to be there. That it was the only way I could stay connected to certain people.

Which, really, is bullshit.

It is certainly the easiest way. It is by no means the only way.

And that’s the reality, isn’t it? The application has made itself so indispensible in everyone’s lives that to try to remember a time before Facebook is actually hard for a lot of people. They have bought into the myth that seeing a blue thumb on something you post or putting a blue thumb on someone else’s post is the same as having an actual interaction with someone.

It isn’t. It isn’t even close. Because first of, people say and post shit on there that they would generally never do or say in real life in front of as many friends as they have online.

I’m not judging you. You do you, as my BFF is wont to say. But I ask that you do the same, dont’ judge me. Don’t preach to me. Don’t try to talk me into coming back. If I do, it will be on my terms. If I don’t, that’s cool too.

And honestly, if you want to talk about it, why don’t you come over? We’ll have some drinks and some laughs.

If you’re not the kind of person I can share a drink and laugh with, chances are we weren’t really friends anyway, regardless of what facebook tells you.

Anyway, with that-I’m tired. And I’m going to bed. It’s the first night in a long time that I haven’t checked my notifications and facebook feed before bed. And tomorrow will be the first morning in a while where I will get up and checking my online shiznit won’t be a thing.

I’m quite looking forward to both.

Have an awesomesauce day my friends!

-Todd



OhshitInearlyforgot!  If you are reading this, thank you. It means that somewhere along the way you bookmarked this blog or made a concious effort to find this little slice of heaven I call my bloggy-blog. Anywhoo, thank you. And again, have an amazing day!

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