Skip to main content

Extra Crispy Thrift

Halloween is upon us and as the town where the 18th Amendment was drafted, we sure know how to party! We close the streets (well, some side streets), put up all of our Council "elect me" signs and throw a little party we call "Fourth Friday--Midnight Madness!!!"

After a satisfying run at the local pizza buffet, we hit the streets. First up was a vintage shop that we normally just walk past, but the siren song of hot cider and warm donuts was too much for me to take in my weakened condition (that condition being having just gorged myself on pizza and cinnamon rolls).

But...I WAS glad I had the camera. That way I'm not the only one creeped out by what we saw.

Starting the gore fest off is the parade of creepy dolls.

Starting with the Linda Blair "Exorcist Play-At-Home Game" (just add pea soup for a hellishly good time):

Linda Blair Doll

From that we go to the Baby-That-Had-Its-Eye-Gouged-Out:

EYE see you!!!

Joan Rivers must really be older than dirt. We found the rare Joan Rivers Doll (I'd say it's sometime after the 3rd plastic surgery but before the 7th time under the knife):

Joan Rivers Doll

From the creepy dolls we headed over to the $75 hat that everyone had to try on. First on deck was Tommy:

Tommy Hat

Then Jen gave it a go (and actually sported it quite well):

Jen Hat

I'm not sure what was in the coffee that Nancy had, but we had to cut her off after this one:

Nancy Hat

If you were a kid in the late 70's, early 80's you knew the name Ben Cooper. And you vowed that if you ever met him in the street, you'd kick his ever lovin' teeth in. Why? Because, he was the butt munch that made millions selling the boxed Halloween "costumes" (which amounted to little more than a mould injected plastic face with a white elastic band that ripped if you crossed your eyes, coupled with an art smock that loosely resembled whatever character was left on the K-Mart shelf by the time your mom remembered that you needed a costume for the Halloween party at school tomorrow).

Usually what was left was something like this. Ladies and Gentlemen I give you PsychoSmurf:

Creepy Smurf
Or, if you were really unlucky your mom came home with He-Man and never once questioned the sales rep who told her the reason they had 3 shelves of that was because it was SO popular that they ordered extra.

(s)He Man

This one deserves a closer look:

(s)He Man 2I have to say, though that if Ben Cooper had been on the ball, they could have cleared out the warehouses of the He-Man costumes by repackaging them as the "Dawson" costume.

VanDerStudEither way it was a gay costume. It was gay then. It's gay now. So, yeah, it would have been perfect as a Dawson re-issue. By the power of GaySkull!!

And if you were the unlucky pup that got stuck with the He-Man/Dawson costume, you were also probably unfortunate enough to get a plastic pumpkin full of the worst Halloween candy ever....the Peanut Butter chew in Festive Orange and Black Wax Paper:

Peanut Butter ChEWWWWWWWs

Happy Halloween y'all!


Popular posts from this blog

Marriage Material??

I had a friend call me today, fuming. I consider myself a good listener on most days. Considering that I was out of town on a work trip and doing absolutely nothing in my hotel room, my listening game was on-point.

She recounted the exchange that sent her off. I will spare you some of the more personal details, but the gist was, at one point, the dude-bro she was talking to flat out told her that she wasn’t marriage material.

Torn between wanting to be a supportive friend and being completely gobsmacked, I felt her frustration. No. That’s not quite right. I didn’t feel the same frustration she felt. I’m approaching what some consider middle age. I’m white. I’m primarily interested in women. Oh, and I have a penis., I can never truly feel the same frustration she was feeling. Or an anger that comes from the same place her anger came from. No matter how in touch I am witn my feminine side (whatever the fuck that actually means).

Instead, the frustration and anger I was feeling w…

Post Con-Fusion

It's 5:40 AM on a Wednesday. I have been up for an hour. I have an outline for a work in progress that I intended to work on this morning. I was in the middle of a chapter that I started at lunch and had every intention of continuing this morning. But, much like me, it seems the characters wanted to sleep in today. They wanted to just hunker under the covers as the rain danced its hypnotic melody on my roof. The swoosh swoosh swoosh of the ceiling fan keeping time with the rest of the nocturnal orchestra.

So, I shifted gears. I am taking  a course on getting more words on the page. Something that I want to do need to do if I am to get all of these books that are floating around in my head out in to the world. It's not so much that I think the whole world will love and adore them, although I certainly hope that is the case. No, it's more the fact that it's getting crowded up there. I need to get these words on the page for my own sanity as much as anything else.


The Kindness of Strangers

This post is going to be a little bit all over the place. If you know me, you are probably used to that by now. If you don't know me, welcome. My name is Todd. I'll be your slightly insecure author and docent on this tour of randomness we call Todd's Mind.

I am going to get a little real, and probably a little raw here today. I would normally be terrified of that. Of exposing myself to the world at large. But in looking at the stats for this blog in the 22weeks or so since I've left Facebook, the reality, I'm exposing myself to about 10 of you. Less if some of you come back and re-read some of the posts. So...yeah. Here goes.

I can count on 1 finger the number of times including today where I have run out of gas. Not talking about pulling into the gas station on vapors, but actually having the car die and coast to a stop because that life-giving dead dinosaur juice was no longer in the tank.

One time.


It's my own fault. I don't like to admit when I&#…