Excision, Incision

1998 had to be a weird time for me. Did I know in the back of my head that things were coming to an end with L-? Probably.

So, I've been going through all these cassette tapes, some 4-track, some 2. Some decent. Some shite. I'm finding out a few things about myself along the way that I don't think I realized it at the time.

First thing...I'm in no position to critique my works for at least 3 years after I've completed it. I can remember some of these recordings and just flat out giving myself holy hell because I couldn't make it sound on tape like what I was hearing in my head. But 3 or 4 (or 7 or 8) years later, it's not so bad. I can listen to them and realize that yes-I may not be technically proficient at vocals, guitar or keys...but there was something there. Some little nibblet of what I was trying to expel to the universe at large.

Like this song. It's a demo I stumbled upon (meaning I didn't do anything but bare minimum guitars and vocals). It's called "You Might Think" and here's the thing-I don't hate my vocals on it (which are traditionally the bane of my existence). I think there's a couple reasons why I'm OK with how they sound. First being, I'm sure I had a beer or two (the guitar playing corroborates this theory), and the second is-I'm just singing on pure emotion for me. I don't think I meant for anyone else to really hear that song. It was just one of those that I had to get on to tape. Something that was just gnawing at me to come out.

Somehow I think those are the things that come out the best, the ones that know when it's time. The ones that aren't forced.

Yes, I realize it could be complete and utter BS. But it's my BS. And I'm sharing it with you (don't you feel special).

"You Might Think (Demo)" circa Winter 1998

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