Skip to main content


Found out some unsettling news about my parent's business/company. There's legal action pending so I won't really go in to any detail on it. Suffice to say, it's f***ed up. And it also serves to illustrate to me how small and self-serving some people can actually be.
It's strange to me. For my whole life, my parents have been there for me to lean on. When I failed algebra in 7th grade, when I shoplifted a pair batteries the day after my 16th birthday and got busted by store security....when I joined a fraternity my freshman year...when I nearly flunked out of college my freshman year (yes, there was a correlation there, hence the reason I was NOT in a fraternity my second semester of college)...when I dropped out of school to get married....when my daughter was born...when I had open heart surgery...when I got divorced...when I got remarried...when we got a house.
They've always been there. Supporting me. Silently letting me steer my own ship, with a gentle nudge on the rudder when it seemed as though I might veer off course. And now it's them who have had the wind knocked out of their sails. The problems that are happening will affect my whole family. My brother also works at the family business, so it will affect him too.
I've always been the anomaly in my family. The 'thinks too much and sits in his room writing poetry all the time' one. It's probably for this reason that I never actually went to work at the family business. And looking at that now, it's probably the one thing that has allowed me to have an objective view of the situation and its inevitable conclusion. And I'm guessing it's going to be the thing that allows me to help them along in the next few months (which have the potential of being incredibly shitty for my parents).
It's just weird a bit. To be their support...a shoulder for them to lean on.
It's just got me really thinking about things. About how the last place I want to be right now is on the receiving of the shitstorm. And how I know that my parents never dreamed something like this could happen to them. And how I don't want to be 20 years down the road realizing that I spent the past 20 years letting my dreams slip slowly by. That I didn't spend every spare waking moment fighting to make my dreams come true.
It's amazing to me how the universe (or God, or Allah or your chosen deity of choice) sends the wakeup calls to us in our lives.  I guess what's more amazing to me is how many times we hit the snooze button.


Popular posts from this blog

Marriage Material??

I had a friend call me today, fuming. I consider myself a good listener on most days. Considering that I was out of town on a work trip and doing absolutely nothing in my hotel room, my listening game was on-point.

She recounted the exchange that sent her off. I will spare you some of the more personal details, but the gist was, at one point, the dude-bro she was talking to flat out told her that she wasn’t marriage material.

Torn between wanting to be a supportive friend and being completely gobsmacked, I felt her frustration. No. That’s not quite right. I didn’t feel the same frustration she felt. I’m approaching what some consider middle age. I’m white. I’m primarily interested in women. Oh, and I have a penis., I can never truly feel the same frustration she was feeling. Or an anger that comes from the same place her anger came from. No matter how in touch I am witn my feminine side (whatever the fuck that actually means).

Instead, the frustration and anger I was feeling w…

Out of Sorts

Not sure what my deal is today. I got up this morning to go for a walk and it was spitting rain, but no biggie. My thriftstore Nikes were kind of hurting my feet, so that didn't help. But it felt good to go for the walk (other than the hurting feet). And it's all going well...and then I get into work and just turn into PMS-Man.  I don't know what my deal is. I just feel bitchy this morning and I'm not sure why. Yeah. That's all I got.

Post Con-Fusion

It's 5:40 AM on a Wednesday. I have been up for an hour. I have an outline for a work in progress that I intended to work on this morning. I was in the middle of a chapter that I started at lunch and had every intention of continuing this morning. But, much like me, it seems the characters wanted to sleep in today. They wanted to just hunker under the covers as the rain danced its hypnotic melody on my roof. The swoosh swoosh swoosh of the ceiling fan keeping time with the rest of the nocturnal orchestra.

So, I shifted gears. I am taking  a course on getting more words on the page. Something that I want to do need to do if I am to get all of these books that are floating around in my head out in to the world. It's not so much that I think the whole world will love and adore them, although I certainly hope that is the case. No, it's more the fact that it's getting crowded up there. I need to get these words on the page for my own sanity as much as anything else.