Back To School Thrift

Alright. The days are getting shorter and the beer isn't staying cold for quite as long. And you know what that means...back to school!

My daughter started 7th grade yesterday (yikes) and my son started 5th grade (and he's already sick of hearing that he's setting the example for the school). And I'm feeling old. SEVENTH grade. Zoinks.

I haven't been back to the thrift store in a couple weeks so, these are some pix that I took but never got posted (and by never I mean that they got posted once and then blogger crapped out and I lost 2 hours of work).

So, here's a blast from the past to tide you over until tomorrow (or the next day), because hey-tomorrow's 1/2 price day and I still have some Ronco items and a NKOTB item to hunt down.

This is mainly going to be a shirt post.

And what better way to start out the shirt post than with this kick ass JEGGGGGGGS!!!!!! shirt (you have to say it in a deep booming, radio voice for the full effect).

This is one of those Old Navy retro-tees. I like it because, well, I like to blow sh*t up. And my name is Jake. OK. It's not really, but if I owned a fireworks company, it would be my name.

I loved Mr. Bubbles!! Y'all can keep your Rubber Duckies. The bottle of Mr. Bubble was this big pink blobby toy that floated (and if you didn't screw the lid back on tightly, it spilled ALL out in the tub...and Mom didnt' like THAT at all).

OH Sh*t! Danny's dad's sponsoring the team again. I swear, I'll quit if he calls our team the Zombies again!!

This was one that was a sheer..."Who would wear this shirt?" WAYYYY TOO MUCH READING for a shirt. If you have to ask the person to stop walking so you can read their shirt, that's fine AS LONG AS ITS SOMETHING WORTH READING. This one clearly does not fall into that category.

All Dorks Go To Heaven.

Word! People Against Goodness and Normalcy.

I think I saw an episode of CSI Miami where they had something like this. I don't know what a Blackberry Nightspot is, but I can only assume its something naughty.

This one actually looked kind of cool...
Until I turned it over. I have a problem with the ACLU. It's much to involved for me to get into here. It mainly involves taking things to the extreme in pretty much everything they do. But, since that's not likely to change, we'll just move on.

I have no idea what Christian Aerobics are. Is that like Pontius Pilates or wha?

This could be the BEST diaper rash ointment in the world (at least I really hope that's what it is), but there is no way in holy heck that I would EVER wear this shirt. Ever.

I don't even remember Survivor 2. So I asked my friends who watch it religiously about this shirt. They didn't know who this guy was either. Sucks for Kathy.

Poor poor Kathy.

This is pretty much a Columbus thing. And I gave the shirt to my friends who changed it to Corn Hole Friday Night (but that's a story for another time).

I had no idea SuperCuts had such a high class list of clients.

I love the fact that in the promo material for this, the duck gets more face time than Vin Diesel. That really should say something. And that something would be "Direct to Video"

From the "Creepy Concert Shirts" division. We have this winner. At least I think it's a concert shirt.

I tried to make it so that this one looked blurry. Like you get all done with your lasik and they give you a shirt with a blurry logo just to mess with your head.

What genius put a blind musician on the bill of an eye doctor's conference?

Sometimes you have to stop and say AWWWWWWW....Who's a cutie?!

Any t-shirt that abdicates for da funk to be broughten is a-okie dokie by me.

This fraternity (or sorority) mock up is second only to my favorite Tappa Kegga Brew.

So....is this bulk rate you think?

Two words...Old School.

I'm not much of a chef, per se, but I have baked enough cookies in my day to know that you bake them at 350 degrees. And I also know that you bake the things in these easy bake ovens...WITH A LIGHT BULB!!! A light bulb. Damn that's hot.

Bob often wondered how the crooks caught him. (Unfortunately he never looked on the bottom of the sandals which said "Bob Was Here").

It's proof that crime doesn't pay.

Neither do flip-flops.

Remember that kiddies.

And I'll give you the end of the month update real soon.


Hoooleeeee Shnikee

I have 4 words for you.

Yes. We saw it tonight.

It was off the hook.
It was so far off the hook I can't even think of a hook that could have contained it to begin with.

It was every single thing I was expecting.

And so much more.

A MUST SEE for any Samuel L. Jackson fan.

There are so many things in the movie that make it a piece of sh*t. And if not for the sheer audience participation factor it would have died a slow, cabin-depressurizing death. IT really is a bad movie. In a Deathrace 2000 kind of way, though.

The violence and gore is purely gratuitous. The nudity superfluous. The profanity free flowing. The plot impossibly thin. And the pacing schizophrenic.

And yet...I find myself wanting to see it again with a bigger audience. With as many people as possible.

I have to agree with the buzz that it could surpass the Rocky Horror Picture Show as the ultimate audience participation event.

Go see it. Trust me on this one.

You'll hate me for it and wonder what I subjected you to about 1/2way through, but by the end you'll be cheering right along with me and the 40 other people in the theatre.

People, It's Just a VIDEO

I am amazed at the response my little video has gotten on YouTube. It's had 1600+ viewings and only 4 comments (not including my responses). 1 comment had to do with the mentos/soda burp.
The other three basically said that the video was boring or a waste of time.
And of the 3 people that said that, only 1 actually had a video entered in the contest.
Here's the thing (and I know you don't really care. This is more for me venting because I know that the people who commented on this will not actually read this)...so the thing is....
I didn't make the video for the stupid Mentos contest.
I really didn't.
I made it for my family and friends. It was a fun little 1 minute video that I spent 20 minutes editing.
And to be honest, I don't give a rip how it fares in the contest (it's not a popularity contest anyway, real-live advertising professionals are going to pick the winner...not the public at large, thank god). I got a t-shirt and 5 iTunes songs coming my way for just dicking around and doing a video that I had done anyway.
I have replied to the last "that's boring" comment I care to reply to.
F**k 'em if they can't take a joke.
(And that's all I have to say about that).


Duuuuuuude. Vote for me. Tell your friends (Shamless Self Promotion Alert)

I am the biggest Snakes on a Plane Fan. Vote for me and help me let those bastiches at New Line know it!!

Hurry, though, I'm 28,000 votes behind!

Vote for ME!!!!


MoMento, MoMento, MoMento

So, there's this "myth" that you can drop mentos in to a bottle of diet cola and it will create a most wonderful fountain.

OK, so it's not a myth.

It's actually quite cool.

And in a bit of summer science fun, we carried out the same little experiment on our court.

Have a look:

And in the event that this YouTube stuff doesn't work right, here it is:
Mo'Mentos (~5MB)


Interstate Thrift

Oh dear readers, do I have a surprise for you! No. That wasn't really a question.
OK. Anyway. Here's how it happened.

Last week my company sent me to Indianopolis to get some training on Voice over IP. And while that's a fascinating subject, it'd make for a boring post.

But while I was there, do you know what I saw? Do ya?

OK. Yes. I did see a bunch of trailers full of Nascars getting ready for the Brickyard 400. But that wasn't really the question I was going for.

I'll save you the trouble.

Across the street from the hotel was (cue choral music):

You betcha! A Salvation Army Family SUPERSTORE!! Now normally I steer clear of our local SA thrift store because, well, quite frankly it blows. I had hoped that being so far from home, this one also wouldn't be a waste of time.

Turns out I had nothing to worry about.

If this painting was any indication, I was gonna be in for a fine time!

If you want to know why clowns creep me out, just take a good look at that painting. I don't think I need to say anything else.

Apparently it's a thrift store mandate that there be at least one ceramic cat figurine of some degree of creepiness.

Um. I don't know what this is. But it had its own spot on the shelf. As all fuggizzits should.

All thriftstores have silverware (it's a killer place to find some actually), but what I thought was really cool was how classy this display was...I wanted one of THOSE. Screw the knives and forks.

WTF? I think BK needs to make a commercial with just jacked up chicken figurines.

There was this time...um...a WAY while ago when I had a...er...vision (sure, let's go with that) of what Pikachu would be like on crack. I'm happy to say that this statue was a LOT worse than anything I imagined.

OK. Here's the thing. There's these knives, right? And they never need sharpened. Sounds great. But then along comes this:
A knife sharpener for knives that never need sharpened.

And on the day when the last unicorn shall be....blah blah.

OK. Do you think that people lost weight from this by actually Dealing a Meal or by getting sick of looking at Richard's mug on every single card?? You be the judge. I know what my money's on.

It's never too early to start planning for Easter! Be sure to stock up on your egg coloring kits!

Tee hee. Back when I was your age, kids....we had these things called Floppy Diskettes. They were thin sheets of plastic coated with rust. You put them in a thing called a Diskette Drive. There were these magnetic heads that rearranged the rust into zeros and ones. And that's what we called software.
I don't know what's worse...my little lesson on the floppy disk...or the fact that I actually at one point owned this software. On floppy disk!

I only have one word for this...WTF?

OK, so if you were playing along last time, you'll know that I have a bizzarre fascination with E.T. movie tie-ins. Particularly bad ones.

If you'll read the rules, you'll understand why this one is quickly topping the list.

Here's a wide shot of the store. It's bigger than the one here and a lot cleaner.

One very cool thing about this particular store is that they have an auction every week for certain items. Sadly Big Bird was only at $15 while I was there.

Brebeuf apparently was some french dude...who came over here (and by here I mean America) and worked with the Huron Indians. And by worked with I mean 'tried to get them to submit and become Christian even though their spiritual beliefs had been working just fine for them for hundreds of years.' So of course it just makes sense that you should get a personalized license plate with his name on it.

Another shot. That's not really a furniture section. I think it's some weird opium den lounge. Sans the narcotics of course.

Yeah. I don't know why out of all the books, this one merited a picture. Perhaps because the attempt to make something as soul numbing as Engineering all happy with bright colors just made me giggle.

And I was very happy to see a solid album collection. Starting with the greatest album of all time...

They made a second album?? After Eddie and the Cruisers what else could you possibly have left to say??

This was a short book. The next page had one word...."Drink"

This is what k.d.lang would look like if she were a girl.

This album would now be in my collection. If the album was actually there. I almost bought it just for the cover.

The Animated Doe. Because buying an animated deer is just too boring.

This store has it all. This kick ass collection of soundtracks! Um. No. I didn't buy any of them (shhh. I already have them all already).

If Will Farrell umm..actually I really don't know where to go with this. I got nothin'.

You must!! It's an imperative.

This is much better than the shelf of naked Barbies at our local thrift store. A barrel of naked Barbies. What more can you ask for?

Ahh...nothing says Easter like corn on the cob!

And next up in the Scariest Easter Basked on the Planet contest we have this lovely entry from the seventh circle of hell (or Wal-Mart as we like to call it around here).

And now I have to end on somewhat of a sad note. I saw this game sitting all by itself on a table. And I have to admit, yes, my heart skipped a beat (and then I starting humming the Imperial March to myself).

And I almost got this. I really did. Even after I opened it and found all of the special 'pie holders' were missing. And a few of the cards were missing (yes I counted).

Even after all of that I carried it around for a couple of minutes.

I'm a geek. What can I say?

Alright. That's all I got for now. I'm getting back to watching Gene Simmons Family Jewels (officially my new favorite show).

Failing NaNo - 4 Years and Counting

I looked, Dear Readers, and noted that the last time I saw fit to let the words fall from my brain bucket and onto these virtual pages was o...