Singing My New Hit Single "Alone in my Thriftciples"

The game plan was this...dinner at Longhorn...then off the Ohio Thrift store for 1/2 price thrifty goodness.

After a couple of days of tummy sickness afflicted my co-pilot, the plans changed a bit. I went out and decided to try to hit the trifecta, Salvation Army, Goodwill, and Ohio Thrift.

Salvation Army was closed, so I headed over to the Goodwill.


I was kinda of bummed out when I walked in. I remember when it first opened. It was kind of gritty...you had to dig for some deals, but you could usually find them. And I found some great deals (that's where I found the apple laptop, modem and zip drive for $10).

So, there was a bit of nostalgia. Unfortunately, the store I walked in to was nothing like the one I used to go to.

My disappointment was short-lived however, when I found this.

And I don't know if these are bears, pigs, or ewoks. Whatever they are, they're carolling.


And I have to honestly say that I don't know what this was doing in a goodwill. At first I thought it was a cigarette. And it is...sort of. But...dude....the bear is baked. I couldn't believe. I didn't know if I was in a thrift store or a head shop.

This is my new wallpaper.

This is where Sega Genesiseses go to die.


Not a lot of photo-fodder at the Goodwill. So I headed over to the Ohio Thrift for the last stop of the night. The 1/2-price thrifty goodness that is the last Wednesday of the month.

I have to say that I'm not sure what the store next to the thrift store is going to be selling, though... It was rather apropos that this was the first item I saw. Because this is pretty much how I was feeling. I have to tell you guys...I wasn't really feeling it tonight.


And now for our next feature, "What the crap is that guy saying?"

Luckily a trip back to the crap aisle cured me of my melancholy. I was happy to see that after "The Omen," that creepy kid found work as the fake family in those picture frames.

And here's every bad 70's hair style in one place.

God loves you so much that he sent one of those creepy kids from that Pink Floyd movie to watch over you.

Again...some times the jokes just write themselves...
And...if you couldn't figure it out from the first picture...here's the detailed explanation:
My most prevalent memory of my elementary school music class was this album. Don't ask me why, but I could probably sing every word to "Free to be you and me" right now

Holy sh*t...there was another Crossroads movie* that didn't have the Karate Kid or that bald chick that didn't used to be batshit crazy?

(*OK. Technically this isn't a "movie." It was a 13 minute promo for some Amway shit or something like that. Please don't ask me how I know this).

Hmmm. OK. Here's a trophy for holding your imaginary bat.

That's just a sad day when they have the 'stood up at the altar' cake topper.

This was quite possibly the creepiest little statue I've seen....ever. I would advise you not to click on the picture if you have a week heart or dont' like to see what Satan looks like when he's manifesting in ceramic figurines.

Oh. And speaking of the Dark Lord...why is it no one else sees the demonic influences evident in all clowns?

I wish I could tell you what I feel...but my hat's covering it (apparently there were no more boxes).

I couldn't find anyone to tell me how much the used Dr. Pepper bottle was, but that's not the real issue here. The real question is...
... WTF is up with all the owls?? It's like a bad Hitchcock movie. There were actually 4 or 5 more owls on the shelf..but it was starting to wig me out.


OK...so..and I'm not saying this is possible...BUT...if you were going to use a radio to listen to transmissions of yourself making transmissions in the past, I suspect it would look something quite like this.

Alright. I'm not sure what kind of prize puts the picture of the winner on a tin can...but...um...it doesn't seem like much of a prize to me.

When you can snatch-ah the pebble from my hand...ok no...really. What is really wild, wild about grasshoppers anyway.

If anyone wants some cappucino topping, I can totally hook you up.

Mmmmm. I love lemon cake.

You'd almost have to be drunk to think this blender is fashionable.

Another geek badge of honor was this...I found this little baby for $1.91. I should have picked it up. Considering when they were sold in stores (10 years ago), they ran around $150. Problem is...I don't have any SCSI devices left anymore.

How's this for some timely Day Planner action?

OK. Here's the deal. Halloween is quite possibly my favorite holiday. But when vampires have horns and fangs....something's wrong.


A backboard for your car? Seems a bit sketchy to me.

I think I'm getting a bit tired. I don't have anything funny to say about a cow teapot.

And this was the last thing I saw on my way out of the store...props to anyone who can tell me what kind of house this would hang in.

And that's about all I got for now.

Stay tuned. I'll be hitting the thrift store up this weekend. If not...maybe next week at the latest.

And now to back to the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

Don't Panic.