The Thriftpire Strikes Back

Alright, here's the scoop. Today IS half-price day at the OhioThrift. It is also my daughter's choir concert (and she's got solos). So needless to say, there won't be any thrifting tomorrow.

But never fear, I won't leave you hanging. What follows is the other half of the pictures I took last Saturday with the old Kodak DC120. Complete with my witty er..um...witticisms.

So you wanna be a player...but your wheels ain't fly? Hells yeah. Again, if I was oh...a midget, I'd fit in to this shirt. Dammit MTV for only putting out cool shirts in size M.

This is an ugly shirt. No really. Look at the label.

So...I wonder what in the world would lead to this shirt winding up in the thrift store. There has to be some sad story about a conservative getting jaded or suddenly discovering that Al Franken makes a lot of sense. Or it could just be one of those thrift store flukes.

If you think this shirt found its way in to my cart just because it was XXL...and has a kick ass embroidered Colonel on it...then you are right!!

I kind of dislike the t-shirts where a logo is taken and made into some pot reference. What's worse is when a city does it. Although, to be fair...this logo was already 1/2-way there.

Sometimes the simplest truths can be found on t-shirts. And no truth is more self-evident than the need to guard your grill. Or UR grill, as the case may be.

GEE! I wish I had ....a joke to go with this shirt. Although I'm sure that there are plenty to be had with the whole flute/man thing...or man-flute thing... Once...there was this time...at band camp...

That's right smokers....stand up and fight for your right to pollute everyone around you. Oh sure...you're right...it IS your right to pollute your own lungs with cancer-sticks. And I have no problem with that. AS LONG AS....none of your smoke comes near me. If I can smell it, you're not doing it right. Keep all that smoke to yourself. Freedom. Um. Sure. As long as your freedom doesn't pollute my air.

Ah s'Oh. Your dragon style is strong but my tiger style will defeat you! And yes...this is now mine. The treasure of the shao-lin as brought to you by Old Navy.

Here you go....21 years of loyal service and we're gonna give you....a shirt. Congratulations. Now get back to work.

Celine Dion...um. No. If you look closely you can just about make out the part where she signed the pact with the dark Lord. It's hard to see...but when you've been tracking hellspawn as long as we have, you learn the signs of the pending apocolypse. And trust me...she's a harbinger of doom.

Doc Martens. Hell Yeah. So what if all the cool kids had them in highschool and I didn't get a pair until I was 34? I'm not bitter. I've got a pair now, beeyotches. A pair that I paid $5 for. And look..a cool shirt to boot! (I was gonna say, "and all I have to shoe for it is this shirt"...get it? Show...Shoe?).

I will readily admit that I don't get "Napoleon Dynamite." Fans have told me that it requires multiple viewings to get it. I'm sorry, I can't buy that it's so very multi-layered that its humorific nuances need time to ferment. Either the shit's funny or it isn't. Tommy thinks it's hilarious. So I got the shirt for him.

Right, because nothing says 'Class' like having the word 'ass' on your t-shirt.

DamnDamnDamnDamn. Missed it again!

You too can look like a slut. WonderBra sold separately.

This is the epitome of a Steelers fan. If there weren't empty cans of IronCity or Hamms lying around when this was done, I'll be very very surprised.

What a joke. These guys don't do anything in 72 hours. Let alone listen to what someone would tell them after only thinking about it for 72 hours. I almost got this for nostalgia. So that I could pull it out of mothballs in 50 years and go "man...what the f**k were we thinking when we elected that sh*thead....twice!?!" (*EDIT* What you can't see on this picture is that below the logo it says "72 Hour (something or other)"...Not that it makes the election any funnier).


Um. Yeah. Good luck with that. I think this is actually some loosely veiled christian values book...which is funny because...there were no dinosaurs in the bible. I could be wrong about that (well, any part of that, actually, but ignorance is bliss and I am one happy mo'fo).

This has some Jo-Ann Fabrics on crack UV Sensitive paint on it. But it's a kids rocking chair (see, it even says "chair"). Ahh, hippy parents....gotta love 'em.

Um...no reason given for this. Maybe they make greater lovers because of their unwavering....um insurance co-pay that lets them buy little blue pills. But of course that wouldn't be as funny on the plaque, now would it? No. Better to just let you speculate why they make better lovers.

And with that, I leave you. I'm going to get back to work now. If you notice the pattern of events here, you may actually pick up that these pictures were taken prior to the other posts pictures. And you would be correct. But going on D's suggestion I decided to break them up into separate posts. And I have to say...Blogger behaved much more civily when I did that. Not to mention you actually get another post!! Everybody wins!!

Alright. Peace out. It's gonna probably be a week or so until another Thrift post (although there may be random posts meanwhile). Jen's got her solo tonight at the concert, so that takes priority.

Coolness. Later y'all. Keep Thriftin'



What's been taking my time

OK. So I know the thrift posts have been sparse the past couple of months. The first time-taker was "My Father's Eyes" (take a peep over at the website for details on what that is).

The second, more recent taker of my time has been the 2 commercials (well, promos really) that I did as a favor for my brother. I was very pleased with the way they turned out.

Read all about them here.

And that's really what's been taking time away from the fun and frivolity of the thrift posts. But not to worry, I have a whole additional set of pix from the last thrift trip and I will be updating them soon.

Not to mention, this Weds is once again 1/2 price Weds. There should be some yummalicious pix from that! :-)

Talk to y'all soon!



Thrift with me, thrift for the year, thrift for the laughter, thrift for the tear

So...as you probably have stopped checking the page with anything but a passing interest, I'll save the apology for my lack of posts and just jump right in to this one.

First off, I start with a bit of history. I take you back to 1997. The first digital cameras had just started hitting the market and really were only available to those with large incomes (since they ran around $1000). One of the first of these was the Kodak DC120.

John Henshall has this to say about it in his column"John Henshall's Chip Shop" in "The Photographer" May 1997.:
Kodak's DC120 is just out. It looks similar to the DC50 but in a dark maroon body and costs $1000 (about £670). The camera uses an 850 x 984 pixel CCD to produce a 1280 x 960 pixel file - not far short of the SLR-based DCS410/420 cameras. The file is interpolated by sampling two adjacent rectangular pixels to make three square pixels. Image quality is very good. The camera has a built-in 3-to-1 zoom, equivalent to 38-114mm on 35mm, an optical viewfinder and a 1.5 inch LCD panel on which the image is displayed for a few seconds (to conserve battery life) after the exposure is made and on which stored images may be reviewed. The internal memory will hold two images without any compression, or twenty at 'good', twelve at 'better' or seven at 'best' quality compression setting. Plug-in CompactFlash memory cards extend the storage capacity without limit.

I go into that only to say that one of our VPs that knows I'm a gadget freak actually had one of these (that he purchased new) that he gave me last week. I was in gadget freak heaven as I played around with it. And it is in that spirit that I bring you this thrift post.

I actually took that camera with me to the thriftstore when Nancy and I went on Saturday and used it to take all the pictures. And without further ado....

Saturday's Thrift (part 1):

(now, truth be told, this is actually last Saturday's thrift...but more on that later)

I'd like to call your attention now to the best 2 movies in the world. And movies that were good in their own right. I leave it to you to pick which two. Choose wisely.

Once upon a time, before digital cameras, you could get your prints right away (after 90 seconds of flipping it up and down trying to hurry it up). Ladies and gentlemen, I give you...the Polaroid. Still used by modeling reality TV shows everywhere...because if you can look good in a polaroid shot..then...damn..you look good!

It's the last....er...supper? On the spaceship (that looks oddly like the inside of a front porch light) being held up by...um...Zeus? Something's not right...I can't quite put my finger on it...

The premise of this candle is that you light it at the exact moment the coverage of the ball festivities in time square start and by the time the ball touches, the 1999 portion of the candle will have burned down and you will be left with a 2000 candle...with a bunch of er..um...waxy residue from 1999. Which come to think of it, that's exactly what happened to me on that particular New Years. But it's not really a good story. So we'll just leave it at that.

This looks like some trippy tiki from some 'kids' show that was produced by a bunch of aging hippies who put in secret code messages for their anti-establishment compatriots that could only be deciphered whilst high. I've got my eye on you HR Puffenstuff.

What the clown didn't tell the child was that as soon as the balloon popped, another mime would die. It was in this way that the clowns silently, and using the darkest magic, eliminated their opponents.
Yes of course! The only thing better than having these crappy earthenware things in my backyard would be to have them in my house!! On display for everyone to see. Why didn't I think of that earlier??
You have no idea how close this cool-ass phone was to being mine. Nancy does, because she talked me out of it. But it was cool enough for a picture and a remorseful sigh. Sigh.

Time for bad ceramics class rejects! And on that note... (coming in as close alternate was "I'd like you to note the time...")

I'm not sure what we're dividing or conquering, but ole boy needs to hit some Rogaine or something first before his cassettes come anywhere near my Hitachi Chachi.

If you couldn't tell...this was hand painted. With love. And an equal sprikling of batshit crazy.

Ooops. I lied. The batshit crazy was saved for this piece I like to call "Choke on this, Q*Bert!"
You know what's worse than those cheesy 'fake' pix that you see in new frames? The real ones people leave in. I like to call the lady on the left, Martha. And the couple on the right, Bif and Tracy.

OK. I'm not sure that (a)I want to know what it is I am supposed to do...and (2nd) that I want that kind of knowledge up there on a little marker board for all to see. I think those things are best left wrapped up in a Hardees bag between the matress and the box springs, mmmkay?
And here's Martha on her boat. Well, I assume it's her boat. She could just be crazy and the actual boat owner is taking her picture. Maybe as evidence that she was alive the last time he saw her. Oh man..Martha....where are you and who's freakin' boat is that, anyway??

Kids remember, doing drugs before ceramics class usually winds up in something like this.
And speaking of batshit (or Guano as the native say) crazy, here we have the Queen Mother of Guano herself, miss "wanna be that chick from the first star trek movie" Spears.
The original Radar Detector. This was the FuzzBuster. This harkens back to a time when you could call the police "the fuzz." Dig the woodgrain. That was so it would blend in to the console of your dodge van with the crescent moon back window and the shag carpet. I miss that van.

I had an R2-D2 latchhook kit once. It did nothing for my masculinity. And I have to think that by putting Nascar in a latchhook kit, the crafts people are in league with the psychiatrists and little Billy Bob is going to wonder why his dad beat the tar out of him for wantin' this from Wal-Mart. Silly Billy.
Somewhere in the 70's is a plant that should be hanging.

Pulp Friction.
I would have totally picke this up. If I was gay. Or a girl. Or 3. But mostly I would have picked it up if the vinyl strap on the back wasn't torn.
OK. Seriously...if this thing is this freakin' creepy with its eyes CLOSED....What must it look like with its eyes open as it looks in to your soul?!?
The only thing that's dumber than watching a show about an arrogant blow hard putting yuppy dinks through their paces in the mental gauntlet of doom....is actually pretending to be either of those parties in a TV game.

He'll keep coming! He'll find her. That's what he does. That's ALL he does! He won't stop until she's dead. Who is in Authority here?
Damn. No thing in compass in the stock or this thing which tells time.
Just out of curiosity, I wondered what the condensed version of the Bible said. Unfortunately, my lack of biblical prowess prevents me from summarizing it into three or four sentences. But rest assured, it would have been funny. To me.
And for only $8.99, you too can have your very own Tri-Wizards Tournament Replica lamp*.
(*portkey not included. Your results may vary. Zonkos takes no responsibility if He Who Must Not Be Named kicks your ass to the curb for having such a fugly lamp.)

Wow. If only I was a hippy. And this was a full size guitar. I probably still wouldn't buy it. I just think it'd be cool to be a hippy.
A plate. A Cereal Bowl. A mug. What more do you need?
Yo. This came home with me. What can I say. It's just how I roll.

This didn't, but you should have witnessed the mental tap dancing I had to do to talk myself out of it (it went a little like this..."even if you did that trim-spa shit,yo...you are NEVER going to fit in a Medium again). And finally I conceded that I was right, much to my displeasure. Oh well, we'll always have the photograph.

That's Miss Chanandler Bong.

Somewhere in the wardrobe department for the Three's Company Reunion Show, a seamstress is frantically looking for this sweater.

Oh good Lord. It multiplied!

If you ever hear someone tell you that you're wearing a Cosby sweater. Do not thank them. In fact, you are well within your limits to punch them dead in the face. This is a (very tame) example of a Cosby Sweater. See what I mean? Aren't you glad you didn't thank them?
One is a mistake. Two is really bad. Three....well, three is just evil. This is what the devil makes you sit in while you're in his waiting room waiting for whatever eternal damnation he has stored for you. Most don't make it past the couch.

OK. Lemme get this straight. It's a board game...where you draw a card...the card tells you to make a noise...and if you make it good enough, you move your piece on the board? Hmm. I see. Tell me again what we need the cards and board for?

It's the Sweater Clog (White Rain not included).

And just what is Hanger's Fast Service and why would I want to remove it?

This concludes part 1 of this thrift post. Look for part 2 later this week. And I leave you with a tasty shot of my foosball table.

Failing NaNo - 4 Years and Counting

I looked, Dear Readers, and noted that the last time I saw fit to let the words fall from my brain bucket and onto these virtual pages was o...