"Before this day ends...one shall thrift....and one shall fall"

And your wait is over. Another thrift post is in store for those of you that have been praying for a thrift post. And not to judge or anything, but if you've actually been praying for a thrift post...um...there may be some bigger issues there. Not saying that there's anything wrong with that or anything, but um...you might want to see if there's another outlet because um...I'm really unpredictable with when these things get posted. Just so you know.

Now, on to the thrift....

I started the tour (and actually, these pix may actually be in chronological order this time....will miracles never cease!!)...so, yeah. Over in the furniture and dead vaccuum area I came across this.

What it is, I have no freakin' clue. A planter for some vine to crawl up or something. But what bugs me is that someone would put this in their house. And why can't shit like this be made in China. You know, stuff that no one wants. But no. I gotta wait for Beijing to decide they're going to re-release the Soundwave G1 Transformer (c'mon already Takara!!)

Dude...once upon a time Radio Shack used to rock! No. I made that up, but it did used to be (and still is) the place to go to get stuff that's been OEM'd and had the Radio Shack (or Tandy or Realistic) name slapped on it (you can actually get KOSS headphones and Shure mics there and pay a teeeeeensie bit less than Sam Ass(h)...but then you have to decide what's worse...buying from Sam Ass(h)...or having something that says 'Radio Shack' on it).

Um...you're blindfolded and someone sits on your lap...and you have to guess who they are?? How is that a game? We call that a poor man's lap dance where I'm from. And wouldn't it be more fun to be blindfolded and have to guess who's lap you were sitting in??

I love these guys! I think Darrin has their first album. Although I'm not so sure of the Milton Bradley tie-in, but who knows?

Play-Doh? Hmmm. You could never get away with this now a days (in fact, you can barely get away with saying 'now a days'). I mean seriously. No way you could pull this off. If you're going to offer 8 colors...they should be 8 different colors--there are two reddish ones and two pink ones that are really close in hue. And that's just no good for aspiring interior designers.

There were two places to take this one. A joke about mispelling Quebec. Or something about the 3-d Chess Set in Star Trek TOS only being for the officers, all the red-shirts had to play this. Still not sure which way to go on it. I'm leaning toward Canada, but I'll have to come back to it.

I didn't even open the box. I just couldn't. Not after the last time...

On the back is something about Microsoft and Dell....and this pre-dates the Geek Squad by many years. Oh my clip-0n tie, porn stealing from harddrives you're supposed to be fixing friends....have you ever had an original thought? My trust in walk-in tech-support is shattered. Just shattered.

The first thought that came to my head when looking at this was "Who buys stuff like this?"

Lucky for me, I didn't have to wait too long for my answer. This guy was walking around with it later.

I must now get snooty....what is with the whole "XXL" thing on the front of a shirt that is CLEARLY not XXL??!?? There was a time that the size on your athletic shirt was the actual size of the shirt. Now a days, it's just not the case. I tell ya. It's just not right.

Power in Numbers. The back has the following numbers .44, .22, .357, 9mm. I'm not sure I get it.

Does it really even matter what the front of this shirt says?

The back says "Neither was this shirt"

Now...I sincerely hope this was some church sponsored activity. If so, I have boatloads of respect for someone not taking themselves too seriously. It's either that or a plumbers convention.

OK. Wearing a shirt with RenFest on it is AS BAD as being one of the guys that dresses up. At least when they leave, you can't tell they were ever into it.

Sometimes a creepy old man muppet head coming out of a banana is just a creepy old man muppet head coming out of a banana.

I don't surf (the waves)...but a hat with a pocket is way cool. So it's now at my house. Suck it, Trebeck.

If you can pick which item creeped me the f**k out the most in this shot, you win the prize. And by prize I mean a copy of this month's therapy bill.

I never thought I'd live to see a gay viking porcelain piece of crap. I guess I can die a very very disturbed man now. Thanks for that.

I heard a crash later and I'm pretty sure the one on the left had something to do with it because the one on the right was gone. But to be truthful, he'd been asking for it all along.

Buying one of these and hanging it in your room next to the poster of Evanescence does not make you goth, or artsy, or trendy. It just makes you a buck ninety-one poorer. And a poser.

If you know which of the *NSync crew this is then either you've spent WAY too much time at BestBuy or you are the rightful heir to the Throne of CheapCrapavania. Either way it's scary folks.

I had my Antiques RoadShow speech prepared...."Well, it's like this Charles. I was in the local Thriftstore...and I remembered the Hummels my grandmother had and I happened to see these...so I flipped them over and..."
Whew. THAT could have been embarrassing.

They ran out of room before they could write "Crap"

This is funny only because I work with someone named Rachel and I was thinking 'how funny would it be to buy this and just put it at her cube...and not tell her who or where it came from'...and it MIGHT be funny...but the judge didn't seem to laugh at the last one. So I kept walking.

I have no freakin' clue what "symptomatic GERD" is...but it sounds painful.

Q&A Time.....Q: Who Made a Lasting impression on the music world?

Tee hee.

Man. I don't know WHAT that SuperSize Me dude was so upset over. After all, McD's DID release these helpful exercise videos. Of course they couldn't find any cover models that ate their food AND looked like they exercised. Minor details.

After having had the real thing, I couldn't wait to play the game!!

His true story. It's in italics because it means it's his true as far as his publicist will let you tell the world about story.

Not just for salads anymore. My mom had one of these things (think she still does). She used to make these great green cookies for Christmas when we were kids. Mmmmmm. Cookies.
That's right, bishes! I do Competitive Full Contact Touch Typing!!!! Proper pads are a MUST!!

I..um. I no words. All I can think of is that this is the dolphins way of getting back at us.

If you have yellow in your optics, it's called jaundice, folks. Nothing to cheer about.

Holographic my ass. That 'help us obi wan'...that was holographic. This is holocrapic.

Later in life the former President could be found at the ranch signing blank sheets of paper for hours at a time...

$4.94 might not be much for a timing light. But for a ray gun (which is what it would be after I cut the cord off), it was a bit pricey.

The first title "Simon Says Bite My Ass" didn't test well with the 4-6 year olds.

WHAT in the name of all that is holy is this?! And what is it's purpose??

To hold chips???

To hold alcohol???
No one knows. It's just bad news all around.

Quidditch the game?? As opposed to....Quidditch the automobile??

And lastly we leave you with a glimpse of the inner sanctum. Which you saw already if you read the other post. But here it is anyway.

That's all I got until next time.
And remember....never forget if you....do something that you could have done, then you should have done it instead of remembering that you thought you forgot you could do it.

When Three Handed Chalk Creatures Attack!

It rained most of the day yesterday.
And I know most people, not from Ohio, (and not inside my over-active imagine) may not know that when it rains, any chalk drawing that smears or comes in contact with another living creature can come alive.

I'm sure it's on Wikipedia somewhere.

Anyway, because of that, and because I'd seen the kids in our court running around in the rain, I was a trifle concerned when I saw this on my driveway.

I knew it wasn't going to be good. Just days earlier there had been fantastical creatures (ok, a butterfly) drawn there.
My sense of trepidation heightened upon seeing my beloved grill....

I could scarce contain the girlish yelp that fought to burst forth after seeing the tell tale signs on the garage door....

My worst fear had come to pass. Not only was it the tiny-handed chalk monster (a particularly tenacious and bloodthirsty beast*)...but there was a second creature.....the THREE HANDED CHALK MONSTER!!!!! It was bad. Very bad.

I can't go on describing what happened next. For fear that I will start screaming and the little guys in white coats will come and do that pricky thing in my arm that makes me sleepy and take my puter away.

*those scrolling all the way down here to see what footnote i put to bloodthirsty will be sad to know that I didn't really had one, but tales of real monsters should always have a footnote, if only to say there isn't a footnote. How could there be? These were hand prints, afterall. And who ever heard of 'handnotes'??Jeesh.

Failing NaNo - 4 Years and Counting

I looked, Dear Readers, and noted that the last time I saw fit to let the words fall from my brain bucket and onto these virtual pages was o...