As you may or may not remember, the last Wednesday of the month is 1/2 price thrift day at our local thriftstore. And I'm all about the thrift, but I'm even more about the 1/2 priceyness.
And as the title of the post mentions, I went through the entire evening with NO shots of t-shirts (ok, technically that's not ENTIRELY true, but MOSTLY no shots of t-shirts). This is an accomplishment for 2 reasons and if I have to tell you what those 2 reasons are, well then, this isn't going to be a very fun post. So, lets get on with it, shall we?
Now we're talking. Back when plastic toys were still made in America...and things like parking cars was cool. I have to admit...I wanted this.
I had this. It was fun. Until my kicker was drafted by the Cleveland Browns. Bastards.
Slightly more difficult than Perfection....but no less nerve wracking as the timer made its way to the >DING<>
I have just one word for this....Hells Yeah!
hehehe...It's like Dungeons and Dragons. Only there weren't any dragons. And only one dungeon. And no magic spells or bags of holding.
Um...what? No. Robots can't have Non-articulating arms. What's the matter with you people??
Heh. If this thing wasn't so damn heavy, I would have bought it.
Because no, I don't think $29.99 is too much to spend on a Stephen Hawkings Halloween Costume. Although, if I was truly in character, I couldn't exactly tell anyone who I was, could I?
- What the hell is this?
- Why is it in the kids section?
- Why on earth does it have BLUE FEET??
I haven't seen a snow speeder this beat up since the summer David Hartman got a box of M-80's from his uncle in California. Somewhere out there, some poor bastard needs this to complete his collection.
I almost got this to go with my Viagra Racecar mouse, but then I remembered, I f**king hate Nascar.
Merchandising hits a new low. And Stan Lee still gets paid. It's a cruel, cruel world.
That's right. Dress your baby in camo...and then put them out in the yard to play.
We have a baby. And it has blue eyes. Hey...doesn't the mailman have blue eyes??
If you like sports oriented tiny Coke bottles, have I got a deal for you.
I almost bought this one for $.59 cents, but then I remembered, I f**kin' HATE Nascar!
Careful when you rack your balls. You don't want to get them all scratched up. Otherwise they just sit in a box and never get used. And what fun is that?
Microwavable Ass Warmer. What will they think of next!?
And I had that bike. But I didn't have that shirt. Because that would have just been gay.
Wow. From this to the iPod. I wanted to get these and retro-fit it with an mp3 player. THAT would be cool! But almost FOUR BUCKS??? Forget it.
The last part of this famous quote by Socrates, "....and I'm Gay" is usually omitted.
Um. WTF? The dude looks like he's lighting up and the rabbits already look baked.
"Bloody the Apathetic Psycho Clown" wasn't as big of a seller as you might think.
Which brings us to the Art Projects Gone Bad portion of the post. Here's the thing...we all had to make this shit in school. With very few exceptions, we all made crap that our parents pretended to like. But...what a crushing blow to the ego to come in to the thrift store one day and find Mommy's precious ...er...candy dish on the shelf. How can you put a price on love??
It was this piece here, simply called 'ashtray' that made Daddy quit smoking.
This is an original George Plimpton piece entitled 'Never Chew with your Mouth Closed'
Somebody had put this in a corner. I put it back in the middle of a shelf. Nobody puts Baby in a corner.
Dude. That guy looks NOTHING like Homer. Unless they meant Homo Bookends. And then yes, carry on.
God gave you the best he had....and then you wasted it on this piece of crap knick knack. Way to go dumbass.
Try as he might, Don Ho just couldn't make any tiny bubbles with just one string.
A Spike Lee Joint.
Makes no sense to split this in to 2 separate sets. Especially if you split the brands! You can't put the Mita Pros with the Franklins! The weight distribution is all wrong not to mention you've got nubbed with smooth. Idiots!
Grandpa...tell us again what computers were like before Neural Imaging...
I want to get one of these sometime and just hang it up. And anytime someone asks, I'd make up a different story about each picture.
AAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!! Second only to my hatred and fear of clowns is my hatred and fear for anthropomorphic swine that is dressed as though they are getting ready to Barbeque.
At first I thought this was a jar of gumballs. Until I saw the liquid. Which MUST be formaldahyde. Which can only mean one thing. These are gumballs made from human eyeballs. Clearly a bargain at $2.92.
Part 927 of things that should NEVER under any circumstances be purchased at a thriftstore.
Holy crap this baby looks pissed!
I'm not sure this would look good ANYWHERE. Except in my toilet. That's where I put all my crap anyway.
Yes, please, Bless our home because clearly we don't know what the f**k we're doing when it comes to decorating. And what kind of home has a fireplace on each end?? And what kind of wood do you burn to get the smoke to come out in little hearts? Crazy stuff, yo.
I'm a case whore. I already have 4 cases for my 40GB iPod. These cases wouldn't fit it. But ohhhh how I wanted to get them. Just incase I got a 30GB iPod someday. Don't even ask me how many cases I have for my Pocket PC!
And after 15 years of employment with Philip-Morris you get your very own engraved ashtray and a lifetime supply of Chesterfields! Smoke up Johnny!
Yeah. Me too. Bummer about that. I've got mine up on the shelf next to my Betamax VCR and Laserdisc player.
And with that, I leave you to whatever craziness you had planned for this Labor Day weekend. And if you say you have to work, I think I may have to kick your ass. Wooop. Hold on a second. I'm on call. Gotta go take this.