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Euh...I suck at this

I have been sorely neglectful of my blog. If the 4 of you that used to read this have abandoned hope of me ever posting again, I really wouldn't blame you.

My mind has been spaghetti lately...and not the good kind. It's been the shitty Chef Boyardee in a can spaghetti. And that's no good for anyone. Least of all the one that was using this blog as an outlet so shit didn't rattle around too long in his head (that would be me).

I just got done reading 'The Last Lecture'...holy shit. If there was ever a book that felt like a mental kick in the ass to live my dreams, it's that one. Shortly after reading it, I registered my domain (www.ipaintwithmylens.com)--don't click the link, there's nothing there yet (I'm still in 'baby steps' mode it seems...why is f*cking beyond me at this point, I'm not sure what (a) I'm waiting for or (more importantly (b)) Afraid of.

My hiatus as video guy at the church ended 2 weeks ago..so I'm back on that horse. There are going to be some bumps...and bruises along the way...but I finally feel like I'm on a mission again (and if it pisses people off because it's not what 'they're used to'...can't really help that).

And the photography is humming along...have done a couple family sittings...I'm getting asked about senior pictures and even had someone ask if I'd take 'glamour' shots for her s.o. ....not sure what that entails...I'm leaving that vague right now because well..I'm not sure if I'm gonna be a 'shoot anything that has artistic merit' guys...or just someone who shoots...well...clouds, and flowers, planes, and moons...with the occasional people shot...I haven't really had to cross that bridge yet. I know if I went to a photo-school I'd have to take ALL kinds of photos...but...um...how did we get here again? Ffffft.

So...yeah. I'm a shitty friend sometimes. I'm not even gonna lie. I've been known to only call people when I need something and assume that the friendship of days past will endure that kind of bullshit. And...I guess...when the chips are down...there are a few people that know me as well or better than I know myself. And those people are my true friends (and can see past my occasional self-absorption)....One of these had a death in his family this past weekend. And...I said the things you're supposed to say when a friend loses his mom...but the truth is...I don't really know what the f**k to say. I suck balls at being around death. But I love this guy. He's been through some hairy points of my life with me and was always a rock...and a voice of reason when shit just didn't make sense. So...if he reads this...he should know that while I know fucklittle of what he's feeling or going through, I've got the Dominoes and Dr. Pepper ready...and I'm pretty sure I still have the Killer Klowns DVD. So...um. yeah.

It seems pretty jank to talk about work after talking about dreams and death and stuff. But...work is fine. I spent last week in Indiana fighting a cold while being trained on a product that if our company starts selling it, could make lots of money for our company. woo.

I really don't know what else to write here. I guess I just wanted to see if I could get back in to the writing habit. Not sure if it's a successful attempt or not (but I know that I need to start writing more isht like this because truthfully it's the only thing that gets me out of my own head--which is vital some days).

Night.

-AT

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