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Seriously?

First off I want to just say that apparently the word "habanero" is spanish for "hot as bloody hell when things soak in it over night." Yeah. The wings I had last night (from Clucker's...the mango/habanero) were warm last night. Today at lunch there was about 10X the heat. And I'm pretty sure that the first person to have ever written about the stench of fire and brimstone was standing next to someone who had these wings for dinner. Wow. Some days it's a very good thing that I live alone. Pretty sure even the dog would have disowned me after last night.

And then to follow that up, this morning I'm heading out to work and I break the damn door handle on my car. Don't ask me how, but shit is broke. A few friends tell me it's a fairly easy fix...so that may be Sunday's project. Crazy.

Anywhoo...speaking of crazy shit that goes through my head....I had a scene my head about Jesus (yes, THAT Jesus) pitching an idea for a book to his publisher. I can't control where the thoughts come from, but it goes a little something like this:

Publisher (P): Mr. Christ, what can I do for you?

Jesus (JC): Please, Jesus is fine. Anyway...I had an idea for a book.

P: Great! What's the message?

JC: Love each other.

P: And?

JC: No and. That's it. Love each other.

P: Who's the bad guy?

JC: Bad guy? It's about love, man. Why does there have to be a bad guy?

P: What's going to motivate people to just love each other?

JC: Because it's the right thing to do. And it's the key to everything.

P: What else is in the story?

JC: Nothing man. It's about love. That's all you need.

P: I don't think that will fly. Look...I've been doing this thing a while. I'm telling you...you need a bad guy. And a reason for people to buy in to this love thing.

JC: Look. It's a simple message. It's what Dad was trying to say too, in his old school way. Can't we just put out a book about loving each other...no judgement...no bias...none of that. Just love each other as we love ourselves.

P: Look, Jesus. I get what you're saying. I really do. But you need a bad guy...lots of them, maybe. You have to scare the people. Then when they are frightened and weak you have to shine a light in their dark place and THEN you tell them about love. If you try to do this any other way, the critics'll crucify you, my friend.

JC: Well...I certainly wouldn't want that...not on my first book.

P: I hear ya kid. Listen..go work on a few drafts...maybe grab some of your friends to jot down their ideas...kick a few different drafts around...it's not like anything is written in stone. Let's talk next week and go from there.

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