Skip to main content

Comfort Food

Things have been...well...funky...lately. I don't mean like George Clinton funky...more like Bruno Mars. Feeling the same as before but somehow a little tinnier...with less soul.

I don't know how to explain it really. I can feel

*4 week pause*

First off...a few of you have checked in/up on me. Thank you, I'm fine.

I must be clear...I really hate the word fine. Most of the time I use the word 'fine' when I want people to know that I'm going through some shit that I'm still trying to process and not really able to talk about it right now, but that when I am ready to talk about it, there will quite likely be a post or 17 about it on this very site. Or one of the other outlets that I use to get the uncomfortable thoughts out of my head.

So, yeah, I'm fine.

I have a couple of different comfort foods. For me a comfort food is something that requires little to no prep...tastes good and caters somewhat to the latent gluttony that floats around my still too rotund but slowly shrinking frame.

My top three are (in no particular order):

  • Macaroni shells (with the liquid cheese pouch)
  • Pizza (and usually some kind of poultry wing)
  • Pot Roast (or something equally mindless) in the slow cooker
  • Sugar cereal (like Frankenberry or one of the other Monster cereals)
You can generally tell how things are going by the number of pizza boxes at any given time. If there aren't that many, things are going pretty well (or I'm out of town for work).

Lately I've been digging in to the comfort foods.  Part of it is winter. That always makes me a little more introspective. I think a lot of it is the fact that I can't just get out and wander around as easily.  

The other thing is...I'm feeling alone more lately. Do I miss either of my wives? No. Thankfully, I'm not wallowing in the 'what-if's...those ended a couple of years ago.  I have moved on from that. 

But there are nights when I'm watching something and I want to share it with someone. A joke on a show. A movie. Someone to snuggle with while I Netflix and chill.

Here's the irony, though--I don't really like dating. I don't necessary like the trappings that go along with a girlfriend.  I know. Sucks, right?   That's part of the disconnect. The need for human contact but the innate sense of being uncomfortable with some of the things that go along with said contact.   The joys of being an introvert.

But Todd, you're not an introvert.

Yeah. I am. It is mentally exhausting for me to be in social situations. When I'm in the moment, I'm usually OK and have a good time. But the hours leading up to the event and the hours after are generally what I would consider unpleasant.  I don't know how to explain it.  I don't even know if I need to explain it.

I guess I just wanted to let everyone know I was ok. I'm alive. I'm busy making a difference at work (and being appreciated for that). And I'm writing when I can (or when the thoughts can no longer be in my head).

So...yeah...I'm fine ;-)

I'm late for a meeting. 

Promise I won't leave you hanging for another 4 weeks and I may actually try to have the post be slightly coherent next time.

Have a great Friday Eve,


Popular posts from this blog

Marriage Material??

I had a friend call me today, fuming. I consider myself a good listener on most days. Considering that I was out of town on a work trip and doing absolutely nothing in my hotel room, my listening game was on-point.

She recounted the exchange that sent her off. I will spare you some of the more personal details, but the gist was, at one point, the dude-bro she was talking to flat out told her that she wasn’t marriage material.

Torn between wanting to be a supportive friend and being completely gobsmacked, I felt her frustration. No. That’s not quite right. I didn’t feel the same frustration she felt. I’m approaching what some consider middle age. I’m white. I’m primarily interested in women. Oh, and I have a penis., I can never truly feel the same frustration she was feeling. Or an anger that comes from the same place her anger came from. No matter how in touch I am witn my feminine side (whatever the fuck that actually means).

Instead, the frustration and anger I was feeling w…

Post Con-Fusion

It's 5:40 AM on a Wednesday. I have been up for an hour. I have an outline for a work in progress that I intended to work on this morning. I was in the middle of a chapter that I started at lunch and had every intention of continuing this morning. But, much like me, it seems the characters wanted to sleep in today. They wanted to just hunker under the covers as the rain danced its hypnotic melody on my roof. The swoosh swoosh swoosh of the ceiling fan keeping time with the rest of the nocturnal orchestra.

So, I shifted gears. I am taking  a course on getting more words on the page. Something that I want to do need to do if I am to get all of these books that are floating around in my head out in to the world. It's not so much that I think the whole world will love and adore them, although I certainly hope that is the case. No, it's more the fact that it's getting crowded up there. I need to get these words on the page for my own sanity as much as anything else.


The Kindness of Strangers

This post is going to be a little bit all over the place. If you know me, you are probably used to that by now. If you don't know me, welcome. My name is Todd. I'll be your slightly insecure author and docent on this tour of randomness we call Todd's Mind.

I am going to get a little real, and probably a little raw here today. I would normally be terrified of that. Of exposing myself to the world at large. But in looking at the stats for this blog in the 22weeks or so since I've left Facebook, the reality, I'm exposing myself to about 10 of you. Less if some of you come back and re-read some of the posts. So...yeah. Here goes.

I can count on 1 finger the number of times including today where I have run out of gas. Not talking about pulling into the gas station on vapors, but actually having the car die and coast to a stop because that life-giving dead dinosaur juice was no longer in the tank.

One time.


It's my own fault. I don't like to admit when I&#…