The Return Of The High Plains Thrifter

Yesterday was a pretty damn good day, I must say. Aside from being ball-shriveling cold and snowing just 24 hours after it was in the 70's, it was still a good day.

I basically hopped in a time machine of sorts.

I started the day by hitting the record show. That's right. Colleen's Collectibles Record and memorabilia show. If you're looking for vinyl, CD's, concert DVDs, and rock collectibles in general, this is the place for you.

I can remember going to this record show back when it used to be at Vets. It was HUGE. But that was over twenty years ago.  Ian, Darrin, and I used to go and it would kill a whole Saturday. It's been about 2 years since I've gone. My math could be wrong, but it's been a minute. These days I can last about 2 hours before I just have enough. I had a couple of specific things I was looking for, so I held on a little longer than I usually do. Ran in to a couple of people I knew from Uptown so that was mildly amusing if not a bit awkward while we tried to remember each other's names.  I didn't leave with what I was looking for, but I didn't leave empty handed either. I left with Cohen album ("Songs of Love and Hate"), a Yardbirds album, and 10 12" singles of 80's era tunes.  Not a bad haul.  I skipped the annual tradition of stopping at the shady gyro place up the road (that really smacks of a greek mafia front, if there is such a thing). That's never the same without Ian or Darrin.

The haul:

From the Record Show, I had some time to kill. OK. Actually I probably didn't. The mattress people were supposed to be at my place between 4 and 6 to drop off my new mattress and box springs. I figured I had easily an hour or two of clean up and prep to do before they got there. I got to the record show right when it opened and left about 12.  

Note to self, not everyone is going to be there and setup right at 10. Next time show up at around 12. That way people are set up. I'm sure the dude bringing 20 boxes of records in as I was leaving probably had the Concrete Blonde I was looking for and some Yardbirds under $20. Lesson learned.

I decided to stop at the thrift shops on the way home. There was a chance I could stumble upon an Olympia typewriter. Who knows?

As I was heading to my normal haunt, I saw a sign for a new thrift shop that I hadn't been to before. On a whim, I decided to give it a shot.

I'm SO glad I did.

It was comedy gold.

Allow me to explain.  Sometime in the past this blog used to be called High Plains Thrifter.
I would go in to thrift stores, take pictures, and post them with funny comments. The humor was subjective, but the pictures were hilarious. At least to me.  And yesterday it was like a blast from the past.  The next chunk of this blog will be like a trip back in time. Some of these pix made it up to Instagram and Facebook. And there may at some point be a Facebook Live walk through when I work my way up to it, but for now. The pix.

Apparently before he went in to wrestling, the Rock teamed up with a tent preacher to make an album about molesting the son of a deity:

This book struck me as oddly specific. I looked for "Chicken Soup For the 40-Something Single Dude Who Questions Existence On A Weekly Basis" but didn't see it. I'll check back next week.

Um. I don't really have any words for this. But I think Ernie just phoned it in here. I mean, if Chunky could put it all on the line, certainly Ernie could have stepped up. And seriously, it's like Chunky is staring directly in to our soul.

This one made me sad. It hits a little too close to home. And I'm told that it's actually quite a downer read about the decline of society measured by the decline of bowling alleys. Can't imagine why someone wanted to get rid of it.

Australian Geographic? That's a thing?  This month in Australian Geographic, a list of things in Australia that will kill you. Which is literally everything.  But hey, it looks like Gibbs finally gave up that crime solving career and finished the boat. Or at least wrote a book about it.

 Bullwinkle's lesser known cousin, Flowercrotch.

I'm struggling to figure out why you would need a knick knack in which to store torn pieces of paper.

This makes me sad. This is missing the gun and ping pong balls you shoot at the bear. Without those two things, this is just a scary ass plastic bear that wants to kill you. Which is to say it's like a regular bear, only plastic.

This. Um. This is a planter. So...you have this trippy Hummel wannabe and then you have plants growing from the other side of it. So by the time it's all said and done, you have a doctor smacking a smelly baby ass (note the mask) in the jungle.

This shelf creeped me out. It was like Stepford Wives or something. Like the knick knacks were plotting.

And then there's creepy, evil grandma.  All I could think of was, "My grandma used to make real girl scout cookies from scratch. Eventually the girl scouts got wise and stopped going to her house.  It was ultimately what saved them."

 HA! Coffee. Pansies. I start my day with a mug of steaming hot carrot juice! Said no one. Ever.

 I wonder if I'll get charged extra for the trash in the mug or if that's part of the appeal?

 Xtreme Sport Scent? Isn't that the smell I'm trying to get rid of??

Sometimes the jokes just write themselves.

 I hate when people just throw that whole "Diversity Matters" thing around...like it's some kind of game or something...

 If this didn't smell so much like stale cigarette smoke and middle-aged desperation, it would be in my closet right now.

 RAWR! Le Tigre!

I have a thing for bowler shirts. This one is now in my possession.

As is this.

Curse my tubbiness. I ALMOST bought the leather suede coat as a goal item for my weight loss. If it's still there when I go back, I will.  Oh. Who am I kidding. This beauty is destined to fly off the shelf. Le sigh.

 I almost picked this up as a tribute to my favorite spoonie. But the fact is, it's 100% cotton. And thrift store rule #28 is this. If it's 100% cotton, get it at least one size bigger than you wear because the dipshit that had it before you probably washed it wrong.

It's not often you see a hat paired with the ugly ass sweater. It was my size, but...yeah. No.

 I didn't know how to process this. It was a non-descript practice basketball jersey sewn on to a t-shirt. It was made in Russia. I figured if having Russia on your back is good enough for our prez, it's good enough for me. So...yeah. This one is in my collection.

 Because of course it is.

 While they won't make the world go 'round, it's good to know they get their own section.

 Everyone needs a pug on their pants, right?

These PJ pants seemed to be projecting a message...it's subtle, but I think you can probably pick it up.

I have never understood the concept of buy used underwear. It always seemed...well...odd to me (and that's saying something).

Although, I have to admit. I would have to re-think my stance if these were in my size.

 I'm pretty sure I could rock these. At least for a night.

 Took me a second to realize that the thrift store was not selling sex toys. I was relieved and slightly disappointed.

 So...Seriously. WTF. This has to have been written by a man. You buy pants that tell you that you will LOOK and FEEL Slimmer because they stretch. Really? Because I think you would look like you have stretchy pants on and feel like the shit was too tight. But...eh. I don't know. It just seems like shitty marketing aimed at poor self doubt.

 I.  Um.  Does this kind of marketing work? Since they are new with tags...at a thrift store, I'm guessing not. But...wow.

The thrift store bounty.  I think I got some pretty sweet gear.

All in all, it was a good day. I got home at 2. The mattress people called 2 hours early. So my cleaning window was shot, but I didn't mind. The day still turned out OK.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go check on the laundry. And maybe clean my office today.  
Have a kick ass day my friends!



Darrin said...

Sorry, bro. I contemplated coming up for the record show. Sad that I didn't. I figured that you would be D&Ding. Oh well, April's not too far away. :)

Looks like you had a decent haul. 80's for FTW! I still remember going to my first record show with you and Ian. It all so overwhelming and awesome. Sadly, I believe the Brady Bunch album I bought that day was lost (along with 75% of my collection) when my sister's basement flooded. Stupid mold. But it ain't no joke, so to the curb they went. :(

And heck yeah on the return of the High Plains Thrifter. For the record, I edit my bookmark to always say High Plains Thrifter. :P You got some gems on this trip, especially creepy grandma and the Chicken Soup book.

Take care bro. Waiting for the pre-sale of the book you're gonna be in. I did per-order the other urban fantasy you posted the other day. Can't beat 99c! Unfortunately my B&W has gone missing and my Kindle Fire bit the dust.

Todd S. said...

Duuuuuuude. I suck. I had a big long reply in my head when I saw your comments and thought sure I posted them.

The first record show was epic. Still at Vets, if I remember correctly. And if you need some vinyl, let me know...I can send you some :-)

This new thrift store I found MIGHT be the thing that gets me in to the Facebook Live video bullshit (although I think I'm doing one of those anyway on release day).

I miss you man. We need to get together soon.

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